Confessions of a special needs father: 09/01/2012

On occasion, I like to make confessions about things I have done, that I’m not proud of. Not only do I feel better but I also show everyone that I’m far from perfect and that I make mistakes.  This helps people to realize that they are not alone.

Today I want to confess that I lost my temper with Elliott Richard last night. 

He wasn’t listening and was whining about everything.  I raised my voice to him more than once.  I’m ashamed because he’s not feeling well and his anxiety is through the roof.

Instead of being more patient a day understanding,  I yelled at him because I simply couldn’t take anymore. Now,  I had given him multiple chances to stop and all I did was raise me vioce above his. However,  I raised my voice period.  That’s something that I don’t like to do.

It was unproductive and accomplished nothing more than further upsetting Elliott and making things worse.  It also made me feel horrible as well.

Having said that,  I’m only human.  I’m tasked with a huge amount of responsibility and under a great deal of stress.  While that’s not excuse to raise my voice to any of my kids,  it’s a reminded that I have my limits.

I like to think that I can go for ever and cope with anything.  However,  the truth is that I’m human and not super human,  by any means.

Losing my cool is bound to happen.

However, it’s something that I will stride to repeat as few times as humanly possible.

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct hate me.

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Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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I lose it too – it’s been a real lesson in patience and perseverance to keep myself (my mouth) and my own nerves under control.  But it happens that I just lose it and become a mean green ogre mom 🙁  ..I do feel badly later and realize it doesn’t accomplish anything much, but it does make me take inventory of myself, and I guess that’s a little productive, eh? Makes me more mindful the next time around.   I know my children can not help their disorders and it takes those around them to assist  with much patience under some of the worse stressful circumstances, but without breaks, and being with them for everything pretty much from sun up to sun down, it gets to you at times.  And yes, we are absolutely human – our kids may have autistic disorder but we have imperfect disorder :)…we are all a work in progress!  Just remember that MOST of the time, you are keeping yourself in check.  


@DLaubacher well said. Thank you 🙂


 @DLaubacher today, our whole family, including the visiting Aunt was at wits end with Marc.  Everyone was on edge. Why? Because he pushed all day long.  He knew what he was doing was wrong.  He even said it was.  He called himself an asshole, but then said he just couldn’t help himself.  I beg to differ.  he can help himself, he just chooses not to.


recognizing our limitations is the key to successfully overcoming those areas where we fall short. I lose my cool just as often as you do.  It happens. Don’t beat yourself up over it, I think that you might be surprised that he won’t beat you up for it tomorrow.


@Carlyoung thanks Carl 🙂


You are still there! As a parent of two autistic children many men disapear when their children are diagnosed. My husband is one of the ones who stayed. We had no idea how to handle autism as our son wasn’t diagnosed until he was 10. I have yelled in my daughters face, smacked her hand, locked her in her bedroom so don’t be hard on yourself – you are human. Back in the early 90s there was no help or books out there to help and no internet. We didn’t know about sensory issues. my daughter has left several bruises on me and didn’t speak to my husband for three years but we are still here – that is the most important thing – you are still here xx


And people don't understand when parents of high demand children need respite care–it's not a vacation as I have been told!  It's a necessity so we can recharge our batteries so that we can go back to our children rejuvenated and ready to cope once more with their behaviors.  Don't beat yourself up, Rob.  Just make yourself a promise to make it a little longer next time.  Give a timeout to yourself as Mary said.  


@Batty that is my goal. 🙂

Mary Franzen Costell

…and you are not alone. I always try to apologize (I've even put my self into timeout to make a point) but then I worry that by doing that I minimize what my kids have done wrong. It's hard to explain that they don't deserve my anger but… It's that but I hate, like it's their fault I can't deal.


@Mary Franzen Costello thanks 🙂