I don't know what else to do -

I don’t know what else to do

Not 10 minutes after my last post,  I caught Gavin with Emmett between his legs.  He was sitting on the couch with his legs spread out. Emmett was kneeling on the floor and in between Gavin’s legs. 

This isn’t the first time this has happened. 

The last time was a few months ago and Gavin had Emmett burying his face in his crotch.  He encouraged Emmett to do this over and over until we caught him…..

We immediately addressed this with Gavin this afternoon.  He claims he forgot he wasn’t allowed to do that. He also claims that he doesn’t remember us or Dr. Patti ever talking to him about this before.  Keep in mind that we have had countless discussions about this with him over the years and several very recently.

I don’t know what to do at this point.  Nothing we can do will make any difference. At this point, I think we are going to have Gavin stay in his room until we see Dr. Patti. 

I know that’s not a popular decision but we have to ensure the safety of the E’s over the convience of Gavin. This is a 3 day sentence but 2 of those days will be spent back at school.  Truthfully,  Gavin won’t care anyways.  He lives in his imagination so he’ll be fine. 

I don’t know what else to do. Pushing aside the whole debate over his motives,  this cannot be allowed to continue.

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct hate me.

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Oh no…..I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’ve been there before. You are not alone. I support your decision Rob! 


Safety of the younger children comes first always!  


Wise decisions don’t always feel good, nor are they often popular. You know your kids. Trust your instinct–not many have walked in your shoes, so your own instinct is your best resource until you get to the doctor. And the situation is that you have two small boys who are often afraid of their big brother, a child whose recent diagnosis means he cannot grasp the concept of conscience, nor will he particularly struggle against that diagnosis.
I imagine that this isn’t the first of these decisions you’ll have to make, and I am sorry for that.
Do what you have to do, Rob. Just like always. Regards, Leslie


@autiesmama thank you for the support. It’s really difficult realizing that these types of decisions have to be made. I really, really wish it didn’t have to. Be this way.


 @lostandtired  @autiesmama I know it, Rob, but it is what it is. And What It Is just sucks. But’ you’re getting the job done–really, you are.


Wow. I am so sorry for not realizing how serious this is. I did not know Gavin’s history. Yes, you have to isolate him to keep the other boys safe. This is heartbreaking. 


@hudginsvicky no worries. Unfortunately, there is a long standing history of these behaviors. :'(

Grandma K

What you can do is deal with Emmett, build his self assertion skills, his expressive language development that addresses his thoughts and feelings for this type of situation without shame. God help you all in theses next days/ weeks and months


@Grandma K that’s a really good point. How do you explain that to a 4 year old though?

You’re right though. That will help him avoid those situations in the first place.. Thank you for that. 🙂

Grandma K

 @lostandtired  @Grandma You teach as you go, one day at a time, in little conversations/ stories that illustrate NO Play Btw legs, just a rule, casual.  But it’s all the other social stories: If your brother says go btw my legs say NO! that’s not how we play in this house. Oh it looks like your : angry, frustrated, confused etc… just language development, one day at a time. ((hugs))


@Grandma K excellent thank you! 🙂


I totally agree with you Rob… you cannot allow that kind of behavior… period – regardless of whether or not Gavin “remembers” being spoken to about it before… knowing the manipulation factor in the situation I would be hard pressed to believe that he does not remember… but then you never really know with kids like ours, right? The bedroom thing – well that’s not really a punishment when it doesn’t really matter what room there in physically because they’re not really ‘there’ anyway.  I would do the same thing! 


@elizabethtaylor202 well said. That the thing, there’s no way to know for sure. Playing it safe is the only thing we can do for sure. We’ll sort it out with his therapists this week.

Thank you so much for the support.

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