I’m giving up on today (An Honesty Post)

Today has been one of those days that I would not care to repeat. With everything going on with Gavin and the news we had to break to Elliott tonight, I just can’t relax. 

We caught Gavin lying to us tonight and then when he was sent to his room,  he started complaining about chest pain.

No part of me believed any part of what he was saying.

That makes me feel so horrible. However, what am I supposed to do? He was sent to his room for lying and no sooner was he there then he lied to me again.

Gavin has cried wolf way too many times for us to drop everything, every time he says something is wrong. It disrupts the entire family and he’s faking it, at least some of the time. Looking back, I don’t know how many trips to the ER were made based on fake symptoms. 

Thinking about all the times we took him in and they found nothing makes me angry. I was grateful at the time but now I’m more angry and in disbelief. That’s just messed.  Who does something like that?

image

I realize that’s a stupid question but after the day I’ve had…..

We got bad news about our business this morning.  Due to a paperwork snafu, our check is now delayed by a couple of weeks.  That’s really going to hurt us.  Normally, I would be totally freaking out about this but I just don’t have the energy to care at this point. 

We have a ton of paper work and records to obtain in order to get this residential treatment thing moving forward ASAP.

Between gathering records and figuring out what happened with our check today, I spent most of the day either on the phone or buried in emails. 

I did take a decent walk with Emmett and the dogs.  That was really nice. 

I also gave the kids a bath and snuggled with Elliott for awhile and answered as many questions for him as I could. He decided that he wanted to wear one of my shirts to bed because it made him feel better.  🙂

I’ve been writing this for now the past few hours now because I just can’t seem to focus on anything.  My head is pounding and I just realized why.  With all the events of the last day or so, I neglected to take my Paxil.  Whenever I forget, my body gently reminds me by making my head feel like it’s going to explode. 

I think I’m giving up on today and focus on tomorrow.  We are facing another long weekend and I’m not overly excited about it right now. 

Ah well, I suppose I’ve taken up enough of your time. 

Let me just say thank you to everyone for all the love and support.  I’m behind on emails, messages and comments.  As I regain my footing, I fully intend to respond to everyone. 

Thanks for your patience and for listening to me ramble on.  🙂

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct hate me.

Please join our Autism Help Forums

Look for “Autism Help” app at the Google Play Store


0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

16 Comments
most voted
newest oldest
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
stacker2energy

@BruceSallan @Lost_and_Tired Wow Rob sorry-raising 3 sons & a daughter w/o Autism could b rough so I can only image.
Ur very special

Lost_and_Tired

@stacker2energy @BruceSallan thank you very much 🙂

A13xiaH

You have been through incredibly hard trials in the past few weeks, months, etc., and you have incredible strength and love for your family. It shines through here. And bad days, bad spells, will pass… So focus on trying again. I know you will and you always do.And thanks again for sharing your journey with us. Thinking of you all.
 
Alexia

Nic Stephens

It is so hard when our kids lie to us, my son lies to us constantly, he lies to his friends, he lies to everyone. He lies about where we live, who I am and one of the worst ones yet was when he told everyone he had cancer. I totally understand where you are coming from. I too have another child, a daughter who is younger than my son and she has struggled terribly to cope with his constant bull. Don't have any answers, or advice, just thought it might help to let you know your not alone. Reading your post allowed me a moment to realise I aren't alone sifting through the lies being told in our lives. Wish you all love and luck. All the best, Nic.

lostandtired

@Nic Stephens thank you so much for reaching out. Not many people know first hand what this is like. Thank you again. I'm here if I can ever help.

Nic Stephens

@lostandtired  @Nic
 Same goes to you. Sometimes when I have tried talking to friends about Tobi's exploits they look at me as though I am bad, as though it is my fault, as though he is some sort of devil child. Trust me it has nothing to do with parenting. At one point I even thought along the lines of him being a pyschopath. Heavy, I know but when you look at the definition…
 
psy·cho·path   /ˈsaɪkəˌpæθ/ Show Spelled[sahy-kuh-path] Show IPA noun a person with a psychopathic personality, which manifests as amoral and antisocial behavior, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, extreme egocentricity, failure to learn from experience, etc.
 
Add that to his lack of empathy and remorse???? It is so very hard. And as important as it is to be honest I find that people can't cope with the honesty when it comes to discussing the lies that are as painful as the ones we are talking about…. Thanks for the reply. Hope to speak soon.

Nic Stephens

@lostandtired  @NicJust to clarify, thoughts of psychopath only came during my darkest times 🙂

lostandtired

@ChrissyLuck I want to thank you for your amazing offer. I love to see people paying it forward. I love to pay it forward myself as well. Let me talk to my wife and if we decide to take you up on your offer, I'll be in touch. 🙂

ChrissyLuck

@lostandtired  @ChrissyLuck 
Not a problem, I believe in Karma but I think for us building a community of people who care and understand our children is really important. I think we also have a stronger voice together.
 
Hope you had a better day today!
 
Cheers
Chrissy

lostandtired

@Silachan I know you're right. Everything is just so surreal right now that my head is spinning. Hoping for a peaceful weekend. 🙂

Batty

Rob, we give our time to you as freely as you give yours to us.  Sometimes just knowing that we have someone who listens and really understands, who doesn't judge us is enough to bring a measure of peace and make a difference in how each day ends.  My prayers are with each of you.
Karen

lostandtired

@Batty You are so right. Lizze and I were just talking about this today. I think we would have gone crazy a long time ago, if we hadn't connected with all of you here. We would have felt as though we were the only ones going through this and that is such a horrible feeling. 
 
Because we are more aware now that other people out there actually get it and understand why we have to do things the way we do, it makes us feel like better parents. 
 
So many people in our lives still don't understand and if they don't by now…..well, I'm not holding my breath. Thank you very much for everything. Very well said.

Louise Sorensen

So sorry to hear this. Life can be devastating. Whenever it seems too bad, take deep breaths. This won't fix things, but it will help a little. All I can do is think of you and offer Huggs.

lostandtired

Thank you for your support. Deep breathing is great advice. 🙂

ChrissyLuck

Hi Lost and Tired,
 
My name is Chrissy, I am the mum of an 8yr old boy who has special needs. I have been reading you're posts and fully understand where your at. It's a long hard road and people judge us constantly but I wouldn't change my life for anything in the world. My beautiful little boy has taught me so much.
 
Which is why I want to help you. Before I had my son, I was a Bookkeeper, I worked in this line of work for 15 years. Obviously now as a single mum, I stay at home. At the moment I'm studying & starting a business from home.
 
I would like to help you sort out you're finances and sort out a budget to make it easy to keep it updated. Also if you want I could be you're advocate by helping organize all the other paperwork I'm sure, like all of us, you have. Free of charge, of course.
 
This is a genuine offer, if you would like references, I can provide them, so you can confirm who I say I am. The reason for this offer is because I get you're world and I wish that when I needed it most, someone would have offered me a helping hand. I think if we can't help each other, in some way, what's the world come too.
 
If you would like to take me up on this offer (there is no expiry date) please email me at chrissy1966@aapt.net.au
 
Till then, just remember to breath!!
 
Cheers
Chrissy

Silachan

You deserve the rest. I find it sweet that Elliot wanted your shirt for bed. Whatever helps, right? I'm sure as time goes on he'll start feeling better, the more reassurance you give him and the more you show that everything will be alright, he'll be alright too.

16
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x
%d bloggers like this: