Can’t we just get along

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Over the past few weeks, we have been experiencing a growing problem. For some reason, Maggie and Bella haven’t been getting along. It’s more like Maggie simply doesn’t tolerate Bella as much anymore.

There have had a few instances where Maggie snaps at Bella for seemingly no reason at all.  When I say snaps, I mean snaps.

Bella has sustained minor injuries but nothing serious.

Lizze and I have actually been discussing whether or not they can coexist in the future.  We’ve talked about finding one of them a new home but which one?

Maggie is the better dog of the two, in the sense that she listens and has been here for years. 


On the other hand, Bella is Emmett’s dog and has really brought him out of his she’ll over the past year.

We need to speak with the vet on Monday and find out if there is anything we can do. Do they need more exercise? Does Maggie need more attention? Does Bella just annoy the crap put of Maggie? Bella can annoy the crap out of us so maybe Maggie’s in the same boat.

If it comes to a point where we have to make a decision,  or matter which we would choose or what direction we would go in, everyone is going to be upset.  This would be a major destabilizer.

I’m really, really hoping that we can figure this out and get everyone back to a place where they all got along. 

This site is managed via WordPress for Android, courtesy of the @SamsungMobileUS Galaxy Note 2 by @Tmobile. Please forgive any typos. I know how to spell but auto-correct hates me.  😉

For more ways to help the Lost and Tired family, please visit Help the Lost and Tired Family.

Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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Hey – I have an idea – STOP GETTING PETS. Sorry to be blunt, but your family acquires pets at an alarming rate, and I don’t think you have the financial, or emotional resources to care for them. Frankly, it’s irresponsible. What happened to the 2 siamese cats? What’s going to happen when the kittens you replaced them with grow up? Here’s the cycle you perpetuate. You get kittens or puppies, then decide to get rid of them months (or a year) later when they are no longer puppies/kittens. Most people (who would have given them a long-term home) would rather have a young pet, so Bella (or maggie) and the siamese kittens will be passed over. And then euthanized. Sorry, but this is true. I am an animal lover and have been biting my tongue since you wrote about how Sam and Dean just weren’t getting down with the “huge dog” program. As if it was their fault that 100+ pound dogs were terrifying. I’d live in the basement too. The way you tell it – Bella (maybe also maggie) are not trained at all! Be responsible with the pets you have. Train them! If you put Bella in the pound now she will be killed by the shelter within 2 weeks. No one will want an unruly dog. Really sad. I’m not trying to troll – seriously, just get upset about his stuff.


@NoThanks2 wow…. Tell me how you really feel, don’t sugar coat it. That’s not even close to what happened. Who said anything about a 100 + lb dog. Bella and Maggie maybe weigh a 100 lbs together.
Neither dog is unruly and they are both trained. Honestly, this is all a bit dramatic. Yes, the cat thing was a problem. However, we are finding homes, not shelters for them. Not every animal is a good fit and you don’t know until you try. For the record the twins will be adopted out and Banfield Animal Clinic has donated the 1st year of vet care to whomever adopts them. Does that sound irresponsible?
You make far to many assumptions.
We have made the choice to have pets because had made a positive impact on my boys.
Is it always easy? No. Can it get expensive? Yes. Having said that, we always manage. Maggie and Bella are both fixed, up to date on shot and microchiped. They are fed and brushed and played with.
The kittens will be fixed as well but they are still to young. They have about 2 or 3 more months.
Does that sound irresponsible to you?


@NoThanks2 I just want to add a few things here. First, dogs and cats typically don’t get along well. At times you can luck out and find cats that will tolerate the dogs and everyone co-exists together. This is not an option with the Siamese Twins. The Twins are TERRIFIED of the dogs. Would you rather they lived in our basement without love and affection because they are too afraid to come upstairs just so they can stay here, with us? That seems far more cruel and irresponsible to me than finding them new homes with new families, not shelters as @lostandtired has previously stated. Now, the issue of my dogs. When it comes to Maggie Sue and Bella Jane, let’s be clear, my dogs are trained. They know basic commands – words and hand signals – as well as the more complex commands. Maggie Sue listens 99% of the time. Bella Jane listens less than that but she’s also still a puppy and essentially a child, children don’t typically do everything they’re told. But never has it been a question of whether they listen. It’s a matter of Maggie suddenly not tolerating Bella’s existence and @lostandtired and I were unsure why. So, I’m not sure where you came under the impression that A) my dogs are untrained (again this is categorically untrue) and B) that Bella Jane is unruly (she’s a puppy for crying out loud!) but you really should check your facts before forming your opinions. Oh, by the way, if you aren’t “trying to troll” then perhaps next time you’ll use your given name and check your facts before posting.


@fibromamaby3  @lostandtired Lizzie, I’m really not trolling! No one uses their real names in comments! Weird that you should suggest that I do so. Sorry if my comments are all **prayers** and **hugs** that you guys are used to, but I follow BOTH of your blogs and I am left shaking my head (and more recently sort of offended) by the choices you guys make and the information you put out there. The reason I think Bella isn’t trained is because of the info that YOU both write. Bella pees on the floor, she chews wires, she gets out of her crate. I know she’s a puppy but by this time she should be more well behaved. But that’s not even the issue here! If cats and dogs don’t get along well – why would you adopt the twins in the 1st place? Were you just **hoping** it would work and if it didn’t – well, whatever… No, I course I don’t think they should live in the basement. Of course they should be adopted to loving families, but as I outlined in my original comment – that doesn’t usually happen to older cats. Look, you put your family out there for the world to judge by writing every last detail about your lives. Certainly your readers are allowed to disagree and **gasp!** even challenge the posts you put out there. Don’t get so freaked out and offended. Roll with it. Accept that people may have viewpoints that are actually legitimate. Your family might benefit from a dog, but you would also benefit from a house and food. You are going to food banks and having to use state money to pay utility bills. (Totally fair for a family in crisis and nothing to be ashamed of) but then you really aren’t in a position to take on multiple animal expenses.  I know you think Bella is a therapy dog, but most people like pets. They make everyone happy. I do think I have valid viewpoints here – no trolling!


What about that Dog Whisperer thing where you walk the dogs together so they are a pack? And what about making one lie down and submit to the other? I used to have issues with our German Shepherd terrorizing our cats, so I would make him lie down and submit around the cat for a period of time until he was calm, then let him go. Anyone really trained to work with power breeds, like maybe the owner of a pitbull rescue, could show you how to do this. You could do it to the aggressive one next time a squabble is rearing up or happens. Power breeds require alot more training in this area about who’s boss and teaching limits, what is okay, and what is not acceptable.


@rmagliozzi it’s weird because they both submit to each other all the time. Bella’s kinda spunky and that may be part of the problem.


Dogs are very sensitive to what’s going on around them. The main thing they need to feel secure in a situation is a stable “pack leader.” While the other points made here are valid, I think Maggie and Bella are also picking up on the extreme level of stress you are feeling, which you’ve expressed several times recently. They may not be able to understand your words, but they get it. All the recent changes, the emotional impact of Lizze’s worsening condition, the family dynamics in flux with people coming and going, all this contributes to their stress level as well as yours. 
I hope you will give things time to settle down, try some of the suggestions offered here, and don’t rehome either dog. I think it would be traumatic for Emmett if you were to remove either dog as well. I think he might misinterpret this, as, if you misbehave, then you’ll be sent away, like Gavin, like Bella…that kind of thing. That said, you have to make the decision that you are most comfortable with, no matter what anyone else says. I hope it works out for you, and quickly.


If you do research you will find that female dogs do not get along for the most part. Of course there are some that can do it BUT it with aLOT of work on the humans part. They are the reason the word BITCH is a cuss word!
I am sorry to say that it will get worse in time. Please do LOTS of research and see if any of the ideas of crating, baby gating,etc will work for you. Better for someone to be upset because one of the dogs goes to a new home than someone hurt, scarred or worse because of a dog fight.
HUGS to you and good luck!
Kim (who only has boy doggies)


It’s likely that Bella, being a younger dog is getting bored and just like with children, boredom leads to bothering someone,in this case Maggie. I have 3 dogs, a 5 year old pit, a 4 year old mini dachsund and a 7 month old Great Dane mix. I see this behavior with mine now that the Great Dane is old enough(an much larger than the other 2!!) to aggravate the stuffings out of the 2 other dogs. To aleviate some of the snappings, I make sure the Great Dane gets plenty of outside time and has plenty of toys. The dogs also have their own “spaces”. The mini dachsund has his crate that he will go get into and cover himself up,the pit has his own space in the master bedroom and the Dane has space in my son’s room. It’s not as bad as it seems,even when they are snapping at each other. Just think of it a when the kids are bothering each other and how they have to be separated sometimes to diffuse the “snapping”. The dogs have no voice to say “hey,leave me alone” so snapping is their way of conveying it. Mama dogs do the same thing to pups when they are trying to wean them. Try and get Bella more exercise and get her a large Kong toy that you can put treats in(peanut butter,small dog biscuts,squirt cheese from a can, or any small doggy treats that will fit but not come out too easily) to help with boredom.And if they act out at each other,just like kids, to separate rooms they go till they can act nice again!