How to move forward

Gavin has been moved out, at least temporarily.  What now? How do we begin to move forward? How do we start to put the pieces back together?

These are all things that are racing through my head today. 

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I think the initial response to the reprieve was one of rest. 

However, we have to figure out how to move forward and where to begin. That seems to be a stumbling block for me. Our lives are in a state of dishevel, how do we chose where to start?

The only thing that I know is that we have to make sure Elliott and Emmett get what they need to recover from years of their big brothers behaviors. As of today, they are both struggling to process that Gavin is not home.  

Honestly, things are pretty chaotic and really overwhelming. 

I’m completely exhausted and struggling to get motivated. I really, really want to get the house in order. I think that if we improve the environment we live in,  we might start to feel a bit better.

I’m completely open to suggestions as to how we should move forward. 

If you have any thoughts or advice, please shoot me an email or leave a comment. 

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Suzi Satterfield

Check out FlyLady.  Your house didn't get chaotic overnight, and it's not going to get straight overnight, either.  You'll just need to get your system in place.  For me, I tend to do cleaning rounds, five minutes in each room.  (Generally, I can manage to do something for five minutes before having to chase after my toddler.)  The E's may do better with a more structured environment in place, so those two also getting used to everything having a place may help them, too.

lostandtired

@Suzi Satterfield that's a good idea. Thank you.

DKS3

I know I feel better when we declutter.  I have sen the kids to seperate grandparents.  I throw out anything thats not needed or i give it away.  Even with the kids toys.  I give away the toys they dont play with just to unclutter and clean.  I know in a house with 3 kids having their own issues it is hard to keep the house spotless but for that minute it is, it feels better.  This is coming from the most unmotivated person ever.  What if you do somehing special in the little boys room that can get them excited and take thier minds off Gavin not being there

lostandtired

@DKS3 I totally agree. Something I'm really excited about is Elliott being able to have friends over to play or even spend the night. Gavin was a big reason those things never happened.
I think we can start by getting into a different routine. One that gives everyone some responsibility and gives them control back over their lives.

Mary Franzen Costell

Are you afraid of what happens if the temporary solution doesn't work out…if it gets too bad for them there?

lostandtired

@Mary Franzen Costello that is a very real fear. Gavin will do great during the honeymoon phase but after that, I just don't know.

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