Perfection

I feel like we’ve come full circle with Emmett in many ways.  However, the most prominent is his return to extreme levels of perfection.

Everything in Emmett’s life must be perfect. If it’s not he screams.

Throughout each and every day, I’m constantly having to address this with him.  I try to reassure him that everything is okay and attempt to help him work through it. 

Unfortunately, there is literally nothing that we have found that helps.  Anymore, much of the day is spent tripping over words, trying not to say the wrong thing and set him off.

We’ve tried sensory processing things like, massage or joint manipulation. 

I can’t begin to explain how overwhelmingly frustrating this is, for all involved. Emmett’s miserable and the constant screaming is unbearable, especially for Lizze.

I don’t really know now to help him because there doesn’t seem to be a rhyme or reason to these bouts of perfectionism.  I’m sure it’s part sensory and part control but I just don’t know what’s causing this return to perfectionism.

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Suz

I agree with ate. My little guy has control issues too. Our ot explained it as them having so much that they can't control touch, sounds, tastes etc alongside everyday life that they latch onto whatever it is they can control as their safety blanket. For emmett it's his voice and screaming, flor my little guy it's toileting.

lostandtired

@Suz I just added a toileting resource to the online resources page at the top.

Suz

Thanks I'll check it out

anansison

Use this to your advantage.  Teach him how to fold clothes, organize his toys/games, arrange food on a shelf, etc.  At the same time have him make (or you make it for him) "Emmett's Bag of Screams."  It should be something he can easily carry with him.  You take a paper bag, box, or whatever and decorate it.  He then can scream into it when feeling overwhelmed. You can also create a point system with him to earn rewards for staying calm, i.e. no screaming during 15 or 30 minute intervals.  I can give more ideas or details if needed.

Kate

You know, it might be that he is feeling like he isn't in control of his life and needs everything to be perfect. In particular, I remember you had said that the boys were having trouble with Gavin having left and perhaps this is part of it?

lostandtired

@Kate I tend to agree with you. We're seeing the return of many behaviors that had disappeared

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