We’ve all heard the phrase, squeaky wheel gets the grease. In the Lost and Tired family, we have a version of this called he who cries the loudest, gets the attention.
With 3 boys on the #Autism spectrum, there always seems to be something going on and somebody either crying or screaming about something.
I’m not saying that this happens simply because of the #Autism.
Typically it’s related to sensory issues or perhaps anxiety. These things are just common amongst people on the #Autism spectrum.
Anyway, as a matter of survival or self-preservation, we gravitate towards the one that is the loudest. I realize how bad that sounds but there is some logic to this.
Typically, in my family, we are very sensitive to loud noise. So it stands to reason that the kids that’s making the most noise, not only is in need of something, but is also likely creating distress for the other boys. By addressing the loudest, we are providing relief to everyone, in a way.
The huge downside to this is that the boys will learn to be as loud as possible in order to get our attention. That’s a really big downside.
Having said that, there is an element of self-preservation here as well. I may be a special needs father, but at my core, I’m human and can only deal with so much.
When I’m constantly exposed to this type of thing, the loudest screamer is the one that catches my attention first because they are chipping away at my sanity. I need to try and make the noise stop before I lose my mind. It’s sorta one of those unpleasant truths.
I try not to think of it as giving in. I look at it as a strategic surrender. It’s sometimes better to live and fight another day.
In away, I suppose this is very much like squeaky wheel get the grease.
Does this make sense to anyone?
It’s probably not the best parenting plan but sometimes life is messy and you can’t be the perfect parent. Sometimes you have to break the rules just a bit, in order to make sure the kids get what they need and you don’t lose your marbles in the process.
Im constantly on egg shells trying to quiet my daughter when she is crying loudly. The crying sets off my son who cannot stand the high pitched noise. Then all hell breaks loose, and he begins to target her. So i know my daughter has gotten into a pattern of crying loudly for attention, but in this case it can become a safety issue so i run to her right away….
@KarimanElgoharySham I totally understand. 🙂