Why didn’t I think of that: An Honesty Post

      8 Comments on Why didn’t I think of that: An Honesty Post

Once upon a time, I had a really good job,great insurance and A+ credit.

One day, this thing called life happened.

Before I know it, I suffered a life altering and career ending back injury. I was neck deep in a legal battle to protect Gavin from his abusive father and paternal grandmother, that would eventually bankrupt us. Lizze’s health began to fail and all three of our kids would soon be diagnosed with having #Autism.

While we were down, things like our van being stolen would occur, forcing us to buy a new one that we ultimately couldn’t afford. Blah Blah Blah



Fast forward to the present day and I’ll be fielding what feels like a constant stream of phone calls demanding money for things that I can’t pay for at the moment.

Of course, I owe the money and I take responsibility for that. I just wish that when I talked to one agent on Monday and explain what’s going on, that I wouldn’t get a call from the same company via another rep.

They always ask me if I can just borrow the money from someone. It’s like, holy hell, why hadn’t I thought of that. If only I had thought about that earlier, I wouldn’t be behind on the mortgage or anything else. Really?

I realize I sound like I’m just complaining and I suppose I am. However, it’s my blog and sometimes, I just need to purge, especially after the conversation I had with a bill collector a few minutes ago, for the second time in the last few days.

I get that they have a job to do and I have responsibility. I also realize that they have probably heard every excuse in the book as to why people can’t pay.

Read This  I admit it. I'm judging the crap out of these two monsters (Viewer Discretion Advised)

Having said that, we aren’t just not paying. I would if I could and do when I can. I just wish there was a better way. A better way for every family out there struggling, especially those dealing with special needs children.

I suppose this will lead me to my question of you.

If your family is struggling, do you find that people are understanding or do they dismiss you and demand their money? Are there any companies in particular that seem to be better than others?

I do know that it’s always better to call them before they have to call you.



  • TJ Isaacson says:

    we’ve been struggling hardcore as well. to the point of telling the bank to go ahead and TRY to repo our car, we live on gated property, and they are welcome to send a tow truck the almost 200 miles to sit at the end of our driveway, or they can get in line like everyone else. we have some companies trying to sue us over unpaid bills. we tell them the same thing we tell everyone else (sometimes in tears) we’ve robbed peter to pay paul until there’s no peter left to rob. it’s just not there. and we aren’t trying to shirk responsibility, thankfully the power company is working with us, and we have NO luxuries, no cell phones, no cable, we put a sweater on instead of turning on the furnace, been trading work for rent, but we recently got news that made our spirits soar, there’s a program through DDD that helps families specifically in our situation to get and keep their heads above water, they are even helping us come up with the money to get our small business that is struggling worse than we are off the ground, and paying for someone to come to the house to take care of our special needs child so that both parents can return to work, and not have one trapped at home unable to find childcare.  they will pay for one on one care for EACH special needs child. it has been a lifesaver, we do have health concerns ourselves as well, but finding care for our son is a bigger help than even paying our bills for us could be, since we’d feel obligated to repay that, instead we are able to return to work ourselves and become self reliant again, something that was ripped away from us, when we found out our son is affected with a genetic condition that there are only 16 documented cases in the United States, leaving us not only with tons of medical bills, in and out of hospitals, and having to commute across state lines to find a dr that might possibly be able to help him, but completely unable to find childcare for him, and no support from other parents with children with the same condition. not because networking isn’t available, because his condition is THAT rare. so every day is a new problem, a new challenge, and we have no idea what to anticipate. but DDD will and IS helping.  perhaps that’s somewhere to try?

  • jjean3940 says:

    I don’t know where your mortgage is, but we just renegotiated ours with BOA.  My hubs wrote a letter to the president of the bank detailing what was going on- ie our boys’ autism diagnoses, other hardships, etc.  It wasn’t easy, took almost a year, but we just got the letter last week- significant decrease in monthly payments.  huge relief

    • lostandtired says:

      @jjean3940 the problem for us is that we are on a land contract through a family member. We don’t hold the mortgage and so our situation doesn’t allow for hardship because the mortgage isn’t ours. My aunt and uncle are the ones that would have to refinance and it would be based on their situation and not ours. It’s a kind of a rock and a hard place.

  • wyrdpookaone says:

    grrrr only in America do we set people up to fail and then make them feel all guilty and at fault for being one of the true Hero’s of the world.  The most common reason for going into bankruptcy in this country is Health care costs.  You are not alone, You are not at fault.  
    I know the blow to pride is huge but you might seek out a bankruptcy attorney. It would at least stop the calls and harassment.   You need someone between you and the credit mobsters so you can at least stop looking at your phone like a cobra waiting to strike.
    Huggs.

    • lostandtired says:

      @wyrdpookaone I don’t mind deal with the people that try to work with us. It’s the outsourced collection agents that can barely understand me to start with let alone understand my family’s situation.

  • Paradigm says:

    I am not dealing with what you are dealing with..not at that level…not yet.  But, one big disaster, and we are one paycheck away from where you are.   However, I am a support group leader for our area.  We live in the Apalachian moutains in NE Alabama, and it is an impoverished area.  Most of the people I interact with…they are dealing with exactly what you are dealing with.  I am always blown away by the stories they tell.  This is my mind after a phone call from one of them, “Holy cow…how can so much happen to one family/person?  It isn’t enough that they have a profoundly disabled child, or even a mildly challenged child, or multiple disabled/challenged children…they gotta have serious health issues, too??  And, they are taking care of an elderly/ill/injured/disabled spouse/parent/sibling/relative/friend?”  My mind is always reeling.  I don’t understand.  I genuinely do not.  There isn’t enough agencies/churches/services out there to help with ALL of their challenges.  It overwhelms me just thinking about it. I am soo sorry that all this is happening/has happened to/with your family  I wish I knew a way to make it better.  It just seems so unfair.  I am glad you have a place to vent. I know venting doesn’t pay the bills, but at least it gets the “yuck” from the inside to the outside.