Confessions of a depressed #Autism Dad: 12/17/2012

Confessions of a depressed #Autism Dad: 12/17/2012

It’s been awhile since my last confession. Having said that, I reached a milestone that I’m not proud of and I want to share this with all of you.  My goal with this is to continue opening a window into our lives but also, help someone if they happen to be dealing with the same thing.

I mentioned that I have reached a milestone. That milestone is my physical weight and I’m not happy with it at all.

10 years ago I was body building and in excellent physical condition. 

Between life happening, my poor coping skills and lack of motivation, I have reached 294lbs. Now, I don‘t necessarily look that heavy because of my previous body building but I certainly feel it.  To be completely honest, I’m ashamed and embarrassed by this. 

Truth be told, that’s one of the reasons that I’m not in very many pictures.  I’m really self conscious.

One of my big problems is that I can’t easily get out of the house anymore because of all that’s going on. In the rare cases that I can, I’m too tired to actually do anything. 

Another problem is that I’m depressed.  That of course, isn’t a secret.


However, there’s only so much that medications can help you with and I fall into that category.  The anti-depression meds help. They actually help a great deal. Having said that, things are just so bad at times that they simply aren’t enough.

Between inadequate coping skills and lack of self control, I have turned to stress eating for comfort.

That I believe is my biggest problem at the moment. I really do try to watch what I eat. However, I think it’s the quantity of things that I eat, which is really contributing to the weight gain.

I’m really struggling with this and it sets a horrible example for my boys. 

I realize that sometimes, you have to do what you have to do, in order to survive. Truth be told, I think I hide behind that far to often.  It’s just too easy to justify my eating by saying that it will help me make it through the day. I also have a lot of days that I say something like, after the day I’ve had…………

There are a great many things I’m good at and there are also just as many that I struggle with. Coping with my life, in healthier ways, is definitely something I’m struggling with.

Granted, it could be worse. I mean, I don‘t drink, smoke or do drugs. 

However, my stress eating and subsequent body weight is definitely impacting not only me as a person but also a parent. I don‘t have the energy to do everything that needs done. 

My goal is to change this.  The first step towards my goal is to admit that I have a problem and go from there. 

I know what I need to do, it’s just reclaiming my self-control and discipline that I need to figure out. 

With 2013 rapidly approaching, I’m going to be focusing on improving myself, body and soul.  It’s not going to be easy at all however, my family is worth and so am I.

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I am a mom whose is at her highest weight (not pregnant) since my daughter’s autism diagnosis in July.  It feels awful.  I guess I am a stress eater too 🙂
My husband talks about his frustration with waiting for Kate’s autism treatment to begin.


Rob, like many others here I am proud of the brave step you made in letting us all into your weight struggle. Now you’ve taken the big step of confronting and admitting it as well as made yourself somewhat accountable. Ok we may never see you and you could lie to us, but it’s not your style. We also wouldn’t berate you it’s not ours. We will gladly help you any way we can applauding your loses and gently noticing the gains. Best of luck it’s a hard road(for me any how) but I know you can do it, we will all struggle together and make it! I can do it if you can…there’s you’re challenge! (My husband says him too, he’s got some pounds to lose as well-no padding in his Santa suit!)


I am going through the same way.  I am currently at my highest weight (barring pregnancy) and I am completely depressed over it (as well as over other aspects in my life).  I feel so out of control in my every day life that my eating has gotten completely out of control too.  I keep hoping 2013 will be the year I get it under control!


Kudos to you for recognizing what your issue is and doing all that you can, one step at a time, to change it. Don’t rush it. You didn’t fall off that body-building wagon overnight literally… so it will take longer to get back to it. Plus, you probably didn’t have half the stuff you had going on then either. So, do give yourself a break when you need, don’t let yourself slack off/justify when you don’t need. Try and learn the difference and then tell me how to 🙂

Christine Cosgrove

I know how you feel! Two years ago my home was destroyed by an earthquake and we were homeless. Three months later my three year old boy was diagnosed with Autism. I have struggled with my weight since. My biggest problem though is too many wines at the end of the day, it seems to be the only thing to relax me. Five months ago we moved into our beautiful new home – a new start, so time for me to have a new start also. I am looking ahead to 2013 with excitement as I change my habits and my health. We need to be healthy and fit for ourselves and our boys. Good luck xx


That was supposed to say the combination of those factors lead to me being rather….. Large. Especially for someone who is only 5 foot 2….


Rob, taking care of my Mother before she died was very stressful. The combination of Lupus, Thyroid Disease, Prednisone, and eating the most calorically dense food on the planet: Nursing Home Food. (Ew!) I am down 93.5 pounds this year, my daughter is down 42. We do Atkins, and I have 30 or so left to go. I’m a size 10 now, and I would be fine with that; but my entire wardrobe is 6 & 8. I have an idea how you feel; my ‘moment’ was last year when I was in the hospital at 259 pounds in kidney failure. Best of luck – you can always email me for support, I’ve been there.


Rob, I understand so completely! As @CarlYoung said – the combination of meds and health issues and stress make it so close to impossible for those of us in the special needs community to make headway with our health. The guy who completely changed my health commented below – and I wish everyone had a chance to learn from him (and had the income to implement everything he suggests!) – but know that you are NOT alone – many of us are struggling with you, depressed and frustrated! {{hugs}}


I think that most parents of kids can empathize with you.  I know I do.  A combination of medication and depression has me at 370 lbs.  I take prednisone and a number of other drugs to keep my body from attacking itself.  Between the Lupus and the Fibromyalgia, I am feeling stuck. I don’t know magic answers to help you, but I can share what I do.Eat slower. Eat smaller portions.  Eat smaller meals more frequently.  instead of three big meals, you could try 5 small meals.  don’t give in to the need to look in the fridge for solutions to your “hunger”.  We keep fresh fruits and granola snacks on hand. 
Thinking of you and your family this holiday season. You are in my prayers my friend.


Wow….this really touches my heart…as an indivudual and a professionl who has clients in your shoes! We need to do more for do so much for those you love and care for!! If I can help, I will! Connect with me at!


@CarlMason-Liebenberg is the guy who turned my own health around, Rob … I wish everyone could have access to his wisdom … let me know if you want an introduction.


Plan your meals out beforehand–what’s in them and when you can eat them.  Don’t allow yourself to eat whenever you are in the mood.  It does take discipline to lose weight.  We’ve all been there. 
Why don’t you set a goal of losing two pounds a week for 10 straight weeks?  Keep your readers updated on your progress.


Good for you to put it out there, now you have to deal with all of us checking on you. lol! My husband has lost 25 pounds the last two months and me 12.  The easiest way to start is write EVERYTHING down you eat and the calorie count. There is an app. “Lose It” and you can bar scan the food items and it will tell you how many calories per portion. This alone will make you sooo aware of how much you are consuming.  A man your size needs to stay under 1200 calories for 2 pounds a week.  Actually on that app. you can program your ideal weight and level of activity and it will show you how much you should be consuming. This simple task you can start now.  You also know the stress extra weight adds to your heart, high BP, risk of diabetes etc.  Drink lots of water and stay away of soduim.  Eat lots of veggies and protien.  You can do this, start today……..I dare you! 🙂


Well to help my husband with that I don’t keep snacks or soda in the house. I use smaller plates so he fills fuller sooner. And he can’t eat out of a bag or box, etc. only out of bowls and plates. He dish up is food to help him with his portions and try to stay away from starchy foods. Try to make all of our meals homemade except for a cheat day once a week with store/fast food bought. Just some tips that worked for us. But with all things it comes down to you and your decisions…good luck, YOU CAN DO IT!!!


I dish up his foods…brain typo


I can relate!  As the new year approaches, it will (again) be my goal to lose the pounds that have crept up on me.  Food can be so darn comforting!  So know that you are not alone..

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