I’ve been talking with Lizze about everything that going on with her and Gavin. I realize that from the outside looking in, it could appear as though we have just thrown Gavin away. The reality, couldn’t be farther from that.
Gavin is a very, very complex child and always has been. His needs would be difficult for anyone to meet on the best of days.
While we have moved him out of the house, we moved him in with family. He’s loved, cared for and comfortable. It’s not that Lizze’s parents love him more than we do, it’s the simple fact that there are no emotional expectations placed on him while he’s there.
A child with reactive attachment disorder doesn’t do well with emotional expectations.
At home, he has two very active and demanding younger brothers. While they can all get along well at times, Gavin is more of a loner. He is happier in his room alone, watching Netflix on his tablet.
By transplanting him into his Grandparents home, we are recognizing that it’s a better environment for him. At the same time, we are meeting the needs of everyone left in our house because they no longer live I fear of his next outburst.
I realize this may sound strange but moving him out was as much an act of love towards him as it was towards the rest of us.
It kills me to know that my family is broken apart and no longer together. In fact, Dr. Patti has expressed concern on several occasions that she fears that my stress over this situation is going to cause me to have a stroke or heart attack.
While it may appear that I have picked sides in this tragic situation, I haven’t. Picking sides would be way easier to manage. Instead, I’m working to ensure everyone in my family has their needs met, with the exception of my own.
Looks can very often be deceiving, especially when it comes to some of the tough decisions that need to be made as a special needs parent.
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