Why are we chosen to be special needs parents?



As a parent to a special needs child, it can be very easy to find yourself in uncharted territory. There is never a set of directions telling you what to do. 

So often, I find myself in a situation where there are  no good choices. 

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Sometimes, I literally have to choose from several bad ideas and pick the one that’s less worse than the others. 



It’s important to know that sometimes you are going to make mistakes.  We weren’t picked for this job because we were perfect.  We were picked for this job because despite everything that can and will go wrong, we are somehow the best fit. 

Speaking for myself, I frequently question why I’m the best fit, especially when I can’t seem to do anything right. 

Thankfully, we don’t have to be perfect.  We don’t have to always make the right decisions or even know what the right decision is. 



We simply have to keep moving forward, doing the very best we can. It won’t always be enough and it gets discouraging. The feelings of failure can be overwhelming and you don’t think you can go on. 

However, despite all of the exhaustion, heartache, feelings of failure and setbacks, we pick ourselves up and we keep moving forward. 

I truly feel that we are chosen for this role because no one else could love our kids the way we do.  Sometimes, that means a great deal more than being perfect.


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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

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bridgeth1961
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bridgeth1961

Funny, I dont know if I chose to be parent or if it was meant to be. Through a long series of (un?) fortunate events here I am. Tired, lonely, happy, loving, fighter. We are at a place right now where I need to be patient and do nothing except love my boy. Everytime I want to quit, I think, look at him, how brave is he to go out every day into this world where he perceives danger all around him where the sensory stuff has got to drive him nuts. I heard one aspie say, “Ill be having… Read more »

First Lee
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First Lee

Honestly, I’m cynical about the whole thing.
The reason kids with disabilities get the parents that they do? Genetics. Or other, usually unavoidable circumstances.

lostandtired
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@First Lee okay, so you’re more of a glass half empty person. That’s cool. Technically you’re right anyways. 🙂

Michael
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I think this is pretty spot-on in terms of no one else loving our kids the way we do, picking ourselves up, moving forward, etc., etc., etc. However, I don’t think we’re “chosen”. (And I’m not going to get into a philosophical discussion on God’s plan, religion, or destiny.) We’re simply put in a situation and we choose to deal with it the best we can. Unfortunately, some parents “best” is to run away, let someone else raise their kids, or spend their lives playing the blame-game. For the rest of us, we do everything in our power to live… Read more »

lostandtired
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@Michael I never meant any religious undertone. It’s just meant to help build those up that are struggling.