Is there ever an excuse to kill your child with #Autism?

While I make it a point to always reserve judgement, this happens to be one of those situations where I show that I’m human and react in a way that I really try not to. 

If you haven’t already heard, Dorothy Spourdalakis has been charged in the stabbing death of Alex, her 14 year old son with severe Autism.

Basically, Dorothy had been struggling with her very, very challenging son.  It got to the point that she felt her only option was to stab him to death and attempt to take her own life, which of course, she failed to do.

She’s now charged with the stabbing death of Alex.

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I’ve been reading about this situation and while I feel for the mothers struggles, I just can’t bring myself to even entertain the idea that she was justified in her actions. 

Some of the comments I’ve read recently are actually supporting this woman and even going son far as to say that “it took courage to do what she did.”

I’m amazed and also disgusted that anyone can think that. 

There’s no doubt that she was struggling.  There’s no doubt that society failed both her and Alex down to the letter. 

My question to you is this.  Is there ever an excuse to kill your child with Autism? Is there ever a reason that can justify what she did?

Look, many of us struggle with raising a child on the Autism spectrum.  Some of us are even raising more than one.  I know how challenging life can be and I know how frustrated and overwhelmed I can get.  Perhaps, my situation is different from hers but at no time have I ever entertained the idea of murdering any of my kids. 

I make it a point not to judge others because I don’t know their situation or what they are going through.  However, I’m having a really difficult time not judging this woman right now. 

This is being described as an act of mercy. Nothing about this was merciful. If she wanted to be merciful, there are painless ways to go about what she did. She chose a brutal method and one that caused unimaginable pain and terror. 

To say this child suffered would be a grave understatement. 

I know this is a sensitive issue, so please discuss this in a calm collective manner.  While I don’t think there is any justification for what she did, others may not see it that way.  Please treat each other with respect. 


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CarlBainbridge

I actually do support euthanasia. I just don’t believe it was applicable in this case.  I don’t believe it is applicable in autism at all. 
He was receiving care in a hospital, the mother removed him, realized he was far more care then she was capable of giving (I do not doubt that part for a second) and chose to end his life. 
This was not mercy, this was not euthanasia, this was a woman who made a really bad choice and then made it so much worse by not admitting her mistake and returning him to the hospital but instead chose to end his life. 
There is just no way I can justify the choice that was made here.

lostandtired

amen

1Sophie

Hi, thanks for the well written and thoughtful post. It really is so extremely sad that Alex was murdered by someone in whom he trusted. Alex liked the outdoors, loved  to hike and swim, play and laugh.  As of May 8th, according to a facebook page,  he was receiving some needed medical treatment, and was doing very well. Until his mother violently attacked and killed him BECAUSE HE WAS AUTISTIC.
Just wanted to comment on this statement:
    “While I don’t think there is any justification for what she did, others may not see it that way.  Please treat each other with respect” 
There isn’t any other way to see this- there isn’t any excuse for this murder.   None.   I’m never going to respect a point of view that would try to justify the premeditated, cold blooded, and savagely brutal murder of an innocent child.

Clare

She stabbed him 4 times in the chest and almost cut off his hand, what kind of monster would perform such a cruel and violent act.. he was autistic, not made of bricks, he felt the knife just fine, he saw his own mother just fine..just because he can’t communicate it, it doesn”t mean he can’t (or should I say couldn’t) comprehend. She didn’t care to give him a pain-free death, her aim was not to relieve him from suffering, it seems clear to me that she took out all of her anger and frustration on him. I hope they hang her and her ‘friend’ in public sight.

Clare

She stabbed him 4 times in the chest and almost cut off his hand, what kind of monster would perform such a cruel and violent act.. he was autistic, not made of bricks, he felt the knife just fine, he saw his own mother just fine..just because he can’t communicate it, it doesn”t mean he can’t (or should I say couldn’t) comprehend. She didn’t care to give him a pain-free death, her aim was not to relieve him from suffering, it seems clear to me that she took out all of her anger and frustration on him. I hope they hang her and her ‘friend’ in public sight.

Maria Hall

This isn’t the first time and won’t be the last time something like this happens. The support system is not very supportive at all and it is simply too much for some people to cope with muddling through all the systems to get proper help. That needs fixed in a bad way.

Karen Denniston

Everyone keeps talking about oh poor her and all of the struggles and stress she had to endure…what about him? what about the child that probably had to hear his whole life about what a burden he was to her! Imagine how it felt to be him! people are flat out selfish and cruel. HE needed help and instead was brutally murdered. she is a pathetic excuse for a mother. I agree with the comments on this post. hard to believe anyone with children much less special needs children would defend or sympathize with this monster.

Dee Brake

people have been saying POOR WOMAN and awful lot. she was very stressed, it showed on her face… BUT why didnt she look for help when it got bad? why didnt she admit, im sorry i was wrong? why didnt she call a mental health facility and beg them to take him back? why didnt she do ANYTHING else? she planned this out and murdered him. it was not a desperate feverish fit of anguish in my opinion.

Cindy Wolf

there are laws on the books in several states that allow desperate parents to drop off their child at the local emergency services facility to relinquish custody and get help rather than do something desperate.

KBrett Brett

No excuses, if she was THAT desperate and had used that single brain cell in her head, she could have found a way…but she was too lazy and too selfish. PERIOD!

Paula Acker

What if she would have had a legal way to relinquish him to the state? Can we use the collective strength, wisdom and experience of your followers to offer suggestions to others who may feel this desperate?

Joey Caylor Spencer

I am so tired of all of the “if you haven’t walked in her shoes” bs. If this had been a NT child across the board people would be outraged. But for some reason I keep reading over and over that it was a act of mercy. In my mind thats saying his life wasnt worth as much because he was autistic. I feel for the frustration, struggle and lack of support. But there is no excuse. It bothers me even more to see the autism community showing her such compassion. This was murder of a child it doesn’t matter how much of a struggle it was.

Leah Douglas

No excuse.

Leah Douglas

No excuse.

This is disgusting what she did!

This is disgusting what she did!

Rachele Alessandrini

We live in Chicago and I was so sickened by this story. My son is deaf and is on the spectrum. I have no sympathy for her.

Rachele Alessandrini

We live in Chicago and I was so sickened by this story. My son is deaf and is on the spectrum. I have no sympathy for her.

Autism - Living It

I am so glad you posted this! It’s awful what she did. I am tired of people feeling bad for her. Especially the Autism community! As a mother who struggles with her 11yr old non-verbal daughter with severe autism, I can honestly say – she had no right to end his life whatsoever! It is our job to protect and care for our children no matter how difficult it is… Just my opinion, of course…

Autism - Living It

I am so glad you posted this! It’s awful what she did. I am tired of people feeling bad for her. Especially the Autism community! As a mother who struggles with her 11yr old non-verbal daughter with severe autism, I can honestly say – she had no right to end his life whatsoever! It is our job to protect and care for our children no matter how difficult it is… Just my opinion, of course…

Rob Gorski

Thanks man. I appreciate it. It will be over soon and I’ll be able to put this behind us

Andrew Kramer

Sorry you are going through this. I had to deal BS like that in a custody battle with my ex wife and I know it sucks. I’m praying for you and your family. Stay strong.

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