Confessions of an #overwhelmed #Autism Dad

Have you ever been in one of those places where you just kinda get numb to everything going in around you?  That’s pretty much where I’m at right now.

I know that there are a great many things that must get done and I’m the one that needs to do them, but sometimes I just don’t care. Doesn’t that sound terrible?

It’s not really that I don’t care. I think that I’m just so overwhelmed and exhausted that I just can’t figure out where to even begin or if it’s even worth starting in the first place. Does that make sense?

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Sometimes no matter how hard I try, I just don’t have the motivation.

It feels like there are so many priorities that I simply can’t decide which one to pick and go with.  I seem to sorta get stuck and instead of just making a decision, sometimes I don’t do anything. 

I know this doesn’t look very responsible of me but here’s the thing.  No matter which priority I would run with, someone would pay a price because they wouldn’t be getting what they need. I literally have to make choice between pursuing Lizze’s health or Gavin’s.  Each of these directions would be all consuming and we simply don’t have the resources to pursue both at the same time.  I have to choose which to go with.

How am I supposed to do that?

At the same time, I also know that doing nothing isn’t the right thing to do either. 

I feel like I’m in a lose lose situation. There’s no way to do anything without letting someone down. I’m absolutely exhausted, overwhelmed and at a loss.

This is one of the many reasons that I’m Lost and Tired.  🙁

This site is managed almost exclusively from my Samsung Galaxy Note 3. Please forgive any typos as auto-correct HATES me. 😉



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Rosie Calabro

quiet often have those days, sometimes

Tammymcgann

I’ll make the choice easy for you–focus on Lizze.  Why?  Here’s why:  I’m sure you’ve been on an airplane before.  And I’m sure you’ve been bored out of your mind while the flight attendant shows you how to use the air mask, blah blah blah.  But if you’re in an emergency situation and you need to choose who gets the oxygen first–you or your child–YOU WIN.  Why?  Because how can you help your child survive if you’re dead?  So think of your situation in the same light.  Right now, YOU need the help.  And who can help you better than your wife?  Who understands what you’re going through more than your wife?  Nobody.  Unfortunately, your wife is suffering through unimaginable pain.  If you can help make the pain go away, the two of you can work as a team.  Then, Gavin has A TEAM helping him.  Marriage first, children second.  If someone was to say that to me before I had children I would think they were heartless.  After all, your spouse is an adult.  Your children?  Well, they’re just children!  But right now, the burden is on YOU.  And only you.  If Lizze was healthy, no longer in pain, think of all the things THE TWO OF YOU could accomplish as A TEAM!!!  So focus on Lizze’s health.  Give her the oxygen mask.

rjones22

i have a question Rob. i have been in the same situation (not exactly) but overwhelmed and dont know what to do first and who comes first etc. it was me and my two sons. everyone needed to go to the dr, dentist, and eye dr and it was about this time of year (it seems to be weirdly October). when i was working (and may have a job as of monday please pray she said yes and my offer letter will come monday she said) and had insurance which i needed to use before the end of the year because of deductible would start again at the first of the year. i had to use my employee assistance program to go see my theapist. what she did for me was help me objectively prioritze what to do as i needed to get everybody to the eye dr, dentist, my sick son’s dr and me. it ended up with her help she ended saying the non sick kid could skip the dentist and eye dr, the sick kid could skip the dentist and keep the eye appt and the most important appt was for ME to go to the dr for my gyno stuff and my regular dr to get my prescriptions, and the dentist and the eye dr. here i was thinking that the kids were the most important (and they are) but in prioritzing the dr visits (because they cost money), i needed to go to the dr first. long story short, i still think (if you havent done it already) you need to go to the dr first because everyone else falls apart if you dont, then lizze and then the kids (unless of course a gavin crisis comes up. you dont have to put it out here but you said you are on an anti depresent, so are you on the right dose?, do you take anti anxiety meds? I take mine at night and it helps my anxiety for the next day and you need your back looked at for sure. can you family therapist have an appt with just you individually to see if she can help you prioritze. you do care you are “just” overwhelmed. you “think” you are unmotivated because you are overwhelmed and you are without a plan of someone telling you what to do next. also, are you ADD and can you get meds for that? if you dont think you are ADD you may be ADD and not know it. wow does it make a difference for me. Also, have you had your testostorone level checked? being Low T (which is your hormones) will throw your thinking out of whack to the point that you dont know what to do. I know people that got their Low T taken care of and that alone made a difference. i hope this helps and i am sorry i am long winded EVERY SINGLE TIME lol. (for real)

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