Trying to convince myself that everything is going to be okay

I think that the stress of everything is taking its toll on me right now.  The weird thing is that I don’t feel stressed out anymore and that’s probably not a good thing. I’m so used to stress of unbelievable levels, that I actually feel worse when things are going good.

Isn’t that crazy?

I know that my body’s on overload because I never, ever get sick.  For last week or two, I’ve been struggling with this respiratory thing. I was doing better for a couple of days but have since relapsed. 
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I feel pretty terrible right now but I’m mostly exhausted and completely drained of anything even remotely resembling energy. Lizze really tries to let me rest but she has limitations put in place by her own significant health issues and can only do so much. 

One of the things that I’m doing to try and address these problematic levels of stress is to start putting things down and stop picking things up.

I’ll share some of the more specific changes I’ve made and exactly what I’ve put down, in another post. 

I just don’t know how to explain the amount of pressure I feel each and every day of my life.  In truth, many of you don’t need me to explain that to you because you live it every day. 

My hope is that I can slowly start to help my body unwind and unknot itself.  I don’t expect this to be a quick process but I do hope that if I really try my best to stop taking on more responsibility, I can become a bit more buoyant and stay afloat a little easier. 

Right now I’m just laying on the couch listening to Google Play Music and trying to convince myself that everything is going to be okay. 

This site is managed almost exclusively from my Samsung Galaxy Note 3. Please forgive any typos as auto-correct HATES me. 😉



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rjones22

i especially like your last sentence. You need a nap or “lazy day” which isnt lazy because in the normal world it is called “recharging” Do what you need to do to feel better what ever you think it is as you have a full plate that is going to keep being full for a while. peace be with you

TracyWebster

Rob, every time I read your blog I always feel like you and I have some of the same issues. This time you hit the nail on the head. Learning to put things down or not pick things up is the HARDEST thing I have ever tried to teach myself. As I have gotten older and had more stress put on me with my 20 yo with autism, my hubby who was laid off last year, and my own troubles medically since having back fusion surgery in May, I have become I guess….OCD-ish? I seem to pick out the ONE thing that is out of place or the forgotten task or the missed appointment and I mentally flog myself (or sometimes verbally flog my hubby) for “failing” at something.
We must give ourselves and our SO’s a break. But mostly we are hard on ourselves. I also find it hard to just not do anything. But with recent health issues coming to light (lupus, fibro, and failed back surgery) I am being forced to change my ways. I surely hope you don’t stress yourself into an illness because this is NOT the easiest way to learn how to take a break :-).

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