Judgement is something that I think most of us experience at one point or another. As a special needs parent, I experience judgment all too often. I know that I’m far from alone and one of the reasons that I have this site is to try and raise awareness, so that people can better understand the how’s and why’s of being a special needs parent.
My hope is that by putting a face to the phrase special needs parent, that people will be better able to relate and less likely to judge.
I think that in most cases, judgment comes from a lack of understanding. That said, some people are going to be judgemental no matter what.
When you judge someone, you aren’t defining that person. Instead, you are defining yourself or who you are.
I want to think that if people were to become more aware of what goes on behind the scenes or behind the closed doors of a special needs family, they would realize that the absolute last thing we need, is to be judged.
Admittedly, I’m guilty of making judgements myself. While I’m not proud of that, it happens. It probably happens to most of us from time to time.
Having said that, I’ve rarely been known to actually share my thoughts with whomever I’ve judged. My thoughts remain just that, my private thoughts.
I think that it’s pretty normal and even common to make snap judgments or assessments of a particular situation, especially based on face value. However, as we know, what is seen on the surface is rarely the full story. Not knowing the full story makes it really easy to take words, actions, decisions or events out of context.
I really try to be cognizant of the fact that I’m not aware of what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes. When I come upon a situation that leads me down the path to judgment, I try to remember that I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end judgement. I try to remember that while the situation may seem pretty clear from where I stand, the fact is, I’m not standing in their shoes and there is almost always more to the story than meets the eye.
If all else fails, I simply keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. Just because a thought pops into my head, doesn’t mean the words must flow from my mouth. 🙂
This site is managed almost exclusively from my Samsung Galaxy Note 3. Please forgive any typos as auto-correct HATES me. 😉
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It is strange you say all that because just this morning when I was going to work in the seven degree weather, when i was getting in my car, a parent across the way yelled loudly at their kid to get in the car or else etc. the voice sounded so mean and it immediately made me feel bad because I know that I yelled at my kids occasionally right before the went to school. looking back i am sure it was out of frustration. it was probably the same for this father. our schools have been opening 2 hours behind because of the weather which puts parents in a bind because you have to get to work or else. it could have also been a bad morning with everyone not getting ready for school or waking up late or anything. I did stop judging him immediately (which is new for me really) because I know I had done it with mine and why. I dont excuse it, I wish i had more self control not to yell at my children (I really really tried to keep it to a minimum). it is worse when your kid is special needs or sick like mine because my God you are yelling at a child that is sick or whatever they have and have been thru God knows what