How do you manage 3 kids on the spectrum with 3 very different sensory needs? Often times their individual needs may even be conflicting with someone else’s.
As a special needs parent that is one of the toughest parts. As with most kids on the spectrum, sensory stimulation can be both good and bad. The truly tough part is identifying the sensory needs or each individual child. If you can accomplish that you can even better manage the meltdowns and tantrums. In our experience, many meltdowns are triggered by some type of sensory overload. In Gavin’s case we are still trying to figure that out. Gavin’s needs have always been a moving target.
However, seamless clothes have been a help. We have only gotten as far as seamless socks but he is way more comfortable in those. Identifying the sensory needs is a tough job. We have learned to simply just avoid things like large family gatherings because they never go well. Thankfully most of our family understands and doesn’t hold that against us. Believe me, we would love to get out of the house but we know what life will be like when we bring them home after being over stimulated. It just one of the many sacrifices a special needs parent needs to make.
We have a graduation party today that we can’t go to. We know that Gavin will not be able to handle it and honestly, it’s not fair to put him in that type of situation. The party won’t be crazy but the constant noise, barking dogs ect are just to much for him. It would take us days to decompress him after that. We would be in for a week full of meltdowns and we just don’t have enough left to do that when it can be avoided.
This type of thing is why parents of Autistic kids become isolated. They do what’s best for their child and that means staying back most of the time. It’s also one of the stressors that lead to the loss of family and friends because generally people begin to take things personally when it has nothing to do with that. I hope through more open communication within the community these fallouts can be avoided in the future.