The “Gavin effect”

The “Gavin effect”

Gavin has been challenging for most of his life. If you read back far enough you will see that we have tried to shield the other kids as much as possible from his behaviors. There have been times we considered placement in order to ensure the best interests of Elliott and more recently Emmett. Things did improve eventually.

Today we find ourselves in that same place again. As I have shared many times here, Gavin likes to self-injure. Every time he is questioned about something or makes a mistake he hits himself. We have very aggressively tried to quash this because we COULD NOT ALLOW this spread to the other boys. Well despite our best efforts it has spread. Elliott has now begun (for about a week or so now) bending his fingers back just like Gavin does. He also kicks and hits himself when frustrated or angry. It seems almost compulsory. His anxiety is absolutely through the roof. I’m trying to carefully discourage this behavior because he is going to hurt himself.

Elliott worships Gavin and so he models Gavin’s behavior. This is a real problem because Gavin’s behavior is inappropriate more often then not. We are going to have to do something. The question is what are we going to do.

Lizze’s parents have kindly offered to take him for a little while. We had decided not to do that due to Gavin’s deteriorating condition. We are in the best place to monitor his new meds and current state. However, in light of these recent changes in his over all impact on the kids (namely Elliott) we are going to have to reevaluate that decision…and sooner then later.

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Mandarin Pearl

Would it not be possible to allow the grandparents to care for the younger two kids so you could both focus more on Gavin? I know at their ages it is hard but even if for just a week or every other day, in order to give you some respite and support to allow a tag team approach to Gavin. I will keep y'all in my thoughts and prayers.

Aunt Sharon

Rob, What is this feedjit thing?

David Rice (wudstock

I know it's corny but just get through today. Tomorrow won't get here if you don't make it through today. Plan for tomorrow but live for today. Still praying for Gavin and your entire family.


What a rough thing to have to consider, I'll be keeping your family in prayer.

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