Should my kids exist….really? Has everyone lost their mind or just sensitivity?
Why are people questioning that? This has been eating away at me for the past week now. I try to let the unpleasant things people can say roll off of me but there are just some things I really struggle with. This past week has been a pretty rough one for me. Especially with a few unpleasant comments I have received. I know the whole “sticks and stones…..” but sometimes things really do have a way of getting to me. Especially if it has to do with my family. Lately these unpleasant comments seem to center around where or not my kids should exist.
A few days ago, I “debated” with someone who offered me their unsolicited opinion. This person was a father of an Autistic child as well. He was commenting on the ThyGuyX situation that occurred last week (that has since been resolved). You need to read those posts I linked to in order to get understanding of what I’m referring to. Anyway, this person wanted me to know that while he would have worded it nicer, ThyGuyX made a good point and he agrees with him. He said that after he had his Autistic child he made the “conscious decision” to never have another child. He ended the discussion by saying “I don’t judge your life decisions, but I do question them.”
These “life decisions” he is referring to is the birth of Elliott and Emmett. I’m not sure how that could possibly be taken other then personally. I was really taken aback by this because I have never heard anything like that from another special needs parent before. I get the “point” he was trying to make but…..really? So this has been bothering me the past few days. I know I’m not the only special needs parent to hear something like this but from another special needs parent?
So I wanted to say this to anyone who questions whether or not my children should exist. Our lives are difficult, challenging, chaotic and overwhelming. That’s on the good days. The bad days are…really bad. There are times that I don’t feel I’m strong enough to do this. I often find myself lost and tired, wondering why I was chosen for this job. There are also times that I just want to quit. Hear me when I say, that if I could, I would remove the Autism from my children’s lives. In fact I would do ANYTHING to free them from the Autism so they could be free to be “unabridged” versions of themselves. Even with all the pain, stress, heartache, isolation and fear, if given the choice, I WOULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. I can’t imagine life without my kids (with or without Autism) and no matter what the challenge, I would NEVER want to. There has NEVER been a day that I regret having my kids. They’re my babies and I love the more then ANYTHING and despite EVERYTHING. Maybe I’m just stronger then I give myself credit for or maybe your just weak. How dare you question whether or not my kids should have been born. I don’t know what kind of person says or thinks something along these lines but I feel sorry for you. Here is a bit of unsolicited advise. Don’t EVER approach a special needs parent and tell them you question their life choices. We are fiercely protective of our special needs children and some of us just might be looking for an outlet. You would be wise NOT to make yourself a target.