Lizze has really been going through a rough time and with the kids in constant need of my attention, she often times takes a back burner. It’s one of those situations where there’s no clear cut right or wrong answer. We have always said the kids come first no matter what but sometimes I wonder if that’s always the right approach. I see it two ways, the kids need me ALL the time so that’s extremely important. However, the boys need their mother and that’s extremely important as well. I want to be there more for Lizze, it’s just really difficult with all the other daily demands and unique needs of the boys. At the same time, doesn’t it make sense that taking time away from them and giving it to Lizze is also in their best interest, especially long term. Everything in me wants to be there for her, she my best friend and it kills me to see her suffer. The really hard part is that I can only really “indirectly” help her. Meaning, I can’t fix anything directly but I can try to make the day less stressful as stress is her worst enemy and exacerbates many of her health issues.
Sometimes the only way to reduce the stress is to occupy the kids but then that takes me away from her again. I can also work to bring in more money as I KNOW that is a huge source of stress for her but I can’t do that while taking care of the kids. Are you sensing a pattern here? Caring for Lizze could be a full time job as well and like I said there is only so much that I can do. You know it kinda like the chicken and the egg. Do I help Lizze by physically spending more time with her or by distracting or working the kids all day and trying to reduce her stress? Do I help the kids by spending all my time with them or by helping Lizze to get back on her feet? Kind of a paradox?