I thought I would update everyone as to how I’m doing. Last Wednesday I went to see my family doctor for a cholesterol follow up. The good news was that I managed to lower my LDL (bad cholesterol) by almost 40 pts. The bad news is that my HDL (good cholesterol) is WAY to low so I have to intensify my workouts a bit more. I also lost 10 lbs in 30 days. So that was kind of a shocker and it felt really good to hear that.
Now for the honesty part. I had the uncomfortable conversation with my doctor about where I was mentally and emotionally. I felt that I was struggling and needed to get some help. I already talk to someone but that wasn’t enough. I ask about being put back on anti-depressants and she agreed that was a good idea. So I was put back on Paxil 20mg/day. I’ll be completely honest and tell you that the idea of being back on meds doesn’t sit well with me as I would prefer to deal with things on my own. That said, it was the right thing to do. I already feel better simply because I took the steps necessary to help myself. The meds take about 8 weeks to reach the desired effects but I feel pretty good right now.
I realize there is a lot of stigma attached to medications but I will say this. Medications are great if you need them and not unnecessary if you don’t. I very much needed the help and I’m glad I have the where-with-all to pursue the help I needed to get better. When you live a life similar to mine, depression is often times an unavoidable side effect of everything you have going on.
I thought it was important that I shared this because I want to encourage anyone out there that may need help to get it. There is NOTHING wrong with needing help, nothing at all. Take pride in the fact that you have the courage to do what is necessary to get better and start moving forward again. I’m SO glad I got the help I need to get back on my feet.
In your situation, there is NO dishonor in asking for help. I think talking to someone(other than the therapist or what-have-you that you have been) is a big difference maker. Sometimes talking to someone different, makes you feel less like you are just complaining or going through the motions, and more like you are unburdening yourself. Basically, a change of scenery and a friendly ear, makes all the world of difference. Everyone needs a personal sounding post at times. Personally I avoid the medications because they make me feel LESS in control, instead of more. But that is just me, and my weird ways. >=)
Your right about feeling less in control and that\’s not weird. In my case it was a necessary evil. They do help as I was just not built to deal with this much stress. Typically I avoid meds unless I\’m sick but my kids need a better me. Thanks for your support. I do appreciate it.
May I suggest the book Laughing in the Dark by Chonda Pierce. It is about this comedian's journey through depression. A great read.
You certainly can. I'll look for it when I get a chance. 🙂