I have been toying around with this for awhile now. I have never actually released anything that I have recorded because I just wasn’t sure it was something that I wanted to do. However, as of late, I’m having a harder time writing my thoughts down. This is one solution I’m looking into as a means of getting my thoughts out there.
So anyway, I thought I try this out and see how this works. This is kind of a quick setup but if I continue this going forward I’ll figure out a better setup.
Today’s topic is: school, IEP, ETR and where do you draw the line….
Love the podcast! Please continue to do it; it was amazing to hear your voice and get the story from you. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Our son is 3. We receive services through our school district and although our son was eligible for pre-school this year, we opted out and kept our therapy services instead. So we go to an actual school where school is in session, but we meet with the therapists there, do our sessions and go home. I opted out of pre-school/socialization this year because our son is just not there yet. He is autistic, non-verbal and has many developmental delays. I think we need to work on things one at a time; we are just getting him to communicate his wants/needs/preferences so immersion in a social setting just isn’t a good fit for us.
As far as the stickers; they are a HUGE DEAL. Children react to primary motivators like food and tangible motivators like stickers because they give them a sense of accomplishment and self worth. In a peer setting, those motivators can scar and make children feel left out and worthless when they do not receive them. Our therapists are anti rewards such as stickers, candy, etc. They have discouraged us as parents to use motivators like that because it hurts more than it helps. They want positive reinforcement verbally and physically, like, “Way to go!” or “High Five!” – stickers and candy only lead to competition and disappointment, especially when they are so young and do not understand.
I know your situation is so different than mine, but my opinion would be to pull him out. I have seen your videos of going to therapy and your work at home and you can do those same things with him. You can put him in a swing and “pull pull putty,” or have him throw a weighted ball at a trampoline, you can make sensory bottles (or I could send you some), you can find online what the curriculum is for your classroom. You can do all of these things because you already are. I won’t give you a sticker, but I will give you a virtual High Five! 🙂 You are a wonderful parent.
As far as socialization goes, Emmett has 2 brothers and that is great. He has a “peer group” in his home. You talked about getting into some play groups and that is just wonderful. Right now, your son has a lot of things going on health wise and I think the best thing you can do is pull him out. Perhaps if Emmett has some special friends in his class, you can talk to their parents and set up some play dates.
Thank you so much for your thoughts. As always they are much appreciated. 🙂
Oh I got your email and will be in touch shortly .
OK…deep breaths…this makes me so angry. I don't understand why people choose to work in a setting they're clearly not suited to. Why would these teachers work with children with special needs if they're not interested in providing them with education that suits their needs?!! Why do teachers want children (especially preschoolers) to sit still in the first place?? That teacher needs a slap to the face with The Out of Sync Child. They can't understand him? For starters I can't believe they actually told you that, but seriously, sometimes it takes guess work and time to get used to kids articulation patterns, you just need to put in a little effort. Which is apparently beyond these fools.
Can Emmett's previous OT provide a report detailing his sensory needs? I'd write you one myself except it would look a little strange having a report from a clinic thousands of miles away 🙂
I can't advise from a parent's perspective but from what you've said, these people don't deserve to be responsible for Emmett's education. He's got so much potential, you don't want him being deterred from learning by some grumpy cow.
ok I think I'm done now…
On a more positive note, I liked the pod cast, it meant I didn't have to read haha long day at work so not staring at the screen was a nice change 🙂
Con't…..I am sorry to hear that your son's teacher is using negative reinforcement. to try to control his actions. This is only going to make the situation worst. He will learn to hate school because of it. My son was also mistreated. Put in a room behind closed doors to try to control his behavior. The teachers are taught to control behavior at all cost and in frustion they don't think of the emotional impacted a little thing like a sticker makes. In my experiance with austim positive reinforcement goes a long way. I can't tell you what to do. But if it were me I would pull him before more emotional scars happen as well as the IEP has to be corrected. You are already questioning, listen to your heart this is your child. you both know him better then anyone. We fight for our children, because no one else will.
Matthew has speach, physcial therapy and a 1 on 1 aide. Even someone riding on the bus with him. The redirection that he is given helps so much. Home Schoolong is not for everyone it is also rewarding. Our thoughts are with your family.
Dear Lost & Tired,
I feel for you and your family.It brings back some of my worst days. I absolutey know what you are going through I had to Home school my son Matthew for 6 months until I had my son rediagnosed by the Doctor that gave him the orginal PDD spectrum. It is a pity that when it comes to schools it is all in the wording. We had to endor a 8 hour study were a number of physicians evaluated Matthew.
Matthew still can't sit still and can't relate to the others in the class room. he is now 9 years old and we were very lucky to get him into a school for two years that really knew what they were doing. He is doing well in school work especially reading and math. Like your son, Matthew has other health issues and does miss a lot of school. They would love to have him there more often, yet they don't want him there sick either…….. con't