Can we PLEASE move on

This whole thing has gotten out of control. In regards to my post, Autism is NOT one size fits all, and the apparent controversy which can be found here, I want to clarify a few things.  

I never said anyone was “dishonest” for not sharing their negative experiences,as I have been (mis)quoted as saying. I simply asked why people as so afraid to be more honest about their experience(s).  I was simply asking a question and not accusing anyone of anything.

When I say Autism and Aspergers aren’t in the same universe, I’m referring to parenting and challenges and I’m doing so in the general sense. I realize that this is not always the case, and have said that many times before.  I was simply trying to make a point. This was never meant to be taken as a blanket statement and certainly not in a diagnostic way.

Something that people seem to be missing is that I’m speaking to my experience. I’m very aware that everyone’s experience can be different.  I also know how challenging Aspergers can be. I want to make very clear that I was never trying to create a division as has been suggested and I’m certainly not complaining about my family.

What I find most disturbing is that some people are so quick to dismiss my experience simply because they haven’t been on the receiving end of judgement like this. It’s important to be aware that simply because you haven’t experienced something doesn’t mean others haven’t. Many of you have shared your stories either via email or in the form of a comment. I know that I’m not alone in what my family deals with. Sometimes all the positive attitude in the world can’t overcome the overwhelming challenges some of us face. Having people criticize us for feeling the way we do just makes things all that more difficult.

I know that my attitude no matter how positive or negative it may be, will never change the reality I find myself in. I’m not a negative person, I never give up and I keep my family afloat. Saying anything to the contrary, shows that you don’t really know me or our story.

I’m glad that some people seem to have never experienced the criticism that I and many others have faced. No one should ever have to deal with that. However, having my experience discounted simply because someone hasn’t had that particular experience, is not right. I’m really saddened with how this has all gone down, but it doesn’t change anything. No one has to agree with me. I know this is happening and so do many others.

I also want to say that I have no problems with the person (with whom I have had this little “dispute”) having a difference of opinion. That’s her right and I respect that. However, it was her approach that upset me. We could have shared an email or had a productive conversation about her concerns but that didn’t happen. I have people approach me all the time with a concern about something I have written. Typically, they contact me for clarification before launching a public campaign against me. I would have appreciated the chance to clarify the statements which caused her concerns.

Perhaps, I could have worded things better than I did. Maybe that would have helped to prevent this. However, I was venting my frustration with some recent experiences. I was never given a chance to discuss these concerns and that is what I have a problem with.

When you take someone’s writing and pick it apart and not only take it out of context but also the context of the blog itself, things can get twisted around.

Going forward I will be more careful with my wording because my intention is never to offend anyone. I can’t please everyone and this just happens to be the first time something like this has happened to me. I’m ready to move past this and I hope others can as well. I’m also happy to answer questions that are given to me in a respectful and constructive way. We don’t have to always see eye to eye, but we should handle our differences in a better way.

This is my story and my family’s truth based solely on things that have happened directly to us. I will not apologize for what I wrote, however, I’m sorry that it was taken the way it was. I never intended for it to be picked apart and scrutinized. I’m sorry anyone took offense to this. That was never my goal. I harbor no resentment towards anyone and I welcome a constructive dialogue.

 

Thank you to everyone for all the support. I truly appreciate all of you. Please keep in mind going forward that everyone deserves to be treated with respect, regardless of our differences. Please end the name calling and personal attacks, I do not condone that and it only makes things worse.   🙂

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You did a fabulous job with this post!

Lisa E. Burkhalter o

You did a fabulous job with this post!

Lost_and_Tired

Thanks alot everyone. I guess I felt personally attacked. They say it was just a critique, but I guess I just wouldn't have handled it like that. Next time I won't even respond. I know what I'm doing and I also know my intentions and I just don't understand why people react the way they do.

I doesn't deter me in the slightest, I think if anything it just proves my point.

Anyway, I said I was done so I just wanted to thank all of you for your support. Please don't let this deter you from sharing your story, whatever that story may be.

In the morning I plan to get back to business as usual, whatever that is. 🙂

Kary

I am sorry you had to deal with the emotional repercussions of the opinions of another parent. I too have dealt on a number of occasions with people not "agreeing" with my perspective on Autism and my personal experiences with it. But that is the beauty in all of it, we are all entitled to our opinions and people who are open minded enough in life can see that we write out our experiences in hopes of helping anyone who wants to listen….not because we think we are right or wrong, but because it is all we can do….
We are all here to learn, love, and respect one another in our own journeys and even if we can't see the perspective in someone else's journey it does not allow us the right to criticize their choices in how they deal with it.
Keep writing, keep learning, and god forbid if someone doesn't see eye to eye with you, don't let it affect your journey…Obviously you are doing the best you can, and clearly you are a good person 🙂
My best,
Kary

If the controversy stirred up more awareness then it should be good, right? You are intitled to your thoughts and beliefs; don`t let other people hold you back. There are always haters, whether from malice or not. 🙂

Hi Rob. I just this week found your blog on Twitter and I have shared one of your posts on my page 🙂 I just briefly skimmed through what has been going on with your current post issue….I guess one thing we can derive from this is that what you wrote about is a very sensitive topic! Personal experiences/opinions, supported or unsupported facts, either way it touched some nerves and created a dialogue and I guarantee you someone learned something from it. Which is the whole point of blogging isn’t it? Looking forward to more insight into your family story 🙂 Never stop sharing your heart!

Megan C Kitchen

I am sorry, I was a bit out of line in my comments, I was irritable and reading her tirade made me mad. However, I also stand behind the point of them, she appeared to be doing it to get attention, and not for any other reason. I am sorry I made a bad situation worse for you and made you have to deal with more.

Lost_and_Tired

No problem… You didn\’t make anything worse. It was a bad situation to start with… 🙂

I love your posts Rob…..and its true ….keep posting

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