Today I’m meeting with Dr. Pattie, the boys therapist. Topic for the day is going to be sexually aggressive behavior.
I want to address Gavin and Elliott both because Gavin needs to know that he cannot do this type of thing and Elliott needs to know that this type of thing should not be happening to him. I want Elliott to understand that this is not his fault.
Gavin will be caught off guard but I think that’s the best approach for him.
Gavin needs to understand boundaries and that he does not have the right to ever touch anybody in this type of way. He does not have the right to ever, ever touch another person without permission simply because he wants to. This will have to be very black and white because otherwise the message with escape him.
I know that there are occasions that you need to touch someone without permission, maybe saving someone from getting hurt ect. However, as far as Gavin is concerned, he will need permission in order to make contact.
Since he has trouble differentiating between good and bad touches, he will need to ask permission before giving hugs to anyone.. I know this sounds a bit extreme but this is a very serious issue and it needs to be dealt with accordingly.
I hate having to take this attitude and approach but I will protect my children, even if it’s from Gavin.
In all honesty, I can’t even tell you what it feels like to have deal with this. I dislike very much, thinking of Gavin doing something that crosses the line in this way. Perhaps it’s related to everything that he has going on. I get sick to my stomach trying to figure out the motives.
However, as much as I dislike thinking about the motives, they are very relevant…at least in my opinion.
It’s one thing is it’s more of a boundary issue. That doesn’t make it less of a problem but at the same time it does, in the sense that it’s not a predatory type behavior.
In the past Gavin’s sexually aggressive behaviors were considered more predatory in nature. It was very clear that he knew what he was doing.. I’ll leave it at that.
Well, I’ll say this. When these behaviors were a problem before, he had to have 24/7 supervision while admitted to Akron Children’s Hospital psychiatric unit. He had a shadow stationed at his door and glued to his side. This was done to protect everyone else from him as well as protect him from false accusations.
Now it’s time to go have this talk and address this issue. I’m not feeling very well as I’m not looking forward to doing this.. Sigh