#Autism, Accidents and Delicate Situations

We have been having an ever increasing problem with Gavin wetting the bed at night.  To be honest, he wets himself during the day as well.

The problem is that he has very little sense of personal hygiene. 

This means that unless we become aware of the accident,  he will simply continue wearing the same clothes or sleeping on the same bed sheets.

Last night,  Elliott and Gavin had a sleep over in Gavin’s room.

Elliott camped out on the crib mattress.  However,  Gavin tried to make Elliott more comfortable by covering the mattress with some of his blankets.

When I checked on Elliott before bed,  I was hit in the face by the smell.  When I walked over to Elliott,  he had one of Gavin’s blankets wrapped around his face. The other blanket was wrapped around his body.

When I pulled the blanket away from his face and neck,  the smell was overwhelming.  Gavin had given Elliott blankets that were covered in dry urine,  his dry urine. 

I immediately removed Elliott from the room and cleaned him up.  Elliott never seemed to notice the smell. 

I’m not sure how to proceed here.  I keep the boys off of Gavin’s bed and away from his stuffed animals for this very same reason. 

I haven’t explained to Elliott why he can’t do these things so that Gavin isn’t embarrassed. However,  I’m not sure that is possible to do anymore.

I think I need to explain to Elliott exactly why I have these rules in place so that he understands.  With Elliott’s dislike of germs,  I think it might be a bit overwhelming for him.

We are sure what is causing these problems with Gavin but suspect it has something to do with the neurological issues he is struggling with.

Thoughts?

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Forgotten

One of my twins has bladder spasms & his bladder only holds 40% of what it should. He wets the bed (overnights/pullups) & he is still not potty trained. Have you considered having Gavin's bladder/kidneys checked to see if there is a problem? They did a urodynamics test on my son to figure this out with him.
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PurpleLogic Rules

Maybe as part of the sleepover process, Gavin can help launder his linens. Explain to him that when people have guests sleeping over they usually get fresh linens. I needed to explain this to my son and he understood and was not embarrassed.

autiesmama

My son is on a different timeline, developmentally, and of course, every kid is their own recipe of "stuff," but Daniel was in full time pull-ps until 7 1/2 and he, too, seemed unaware or uninterested in the state of the pull up. There was nothing to motivate him, no clues (other than the obvious ones) that he was about to go, or that he had gone, toileting was fast becoming one of those pipe dreams that seemed like we had to let go of. I know that Gavin is older, so I don't know if this will be be useful or not, but we knew there was no cognitive issue and figured it must be neurological in nature. Keep in mind that I am a lousy, lousy potty trainer. My husband trained our NT kids. Anyway, it became fairly clear that Daniel was operating under the principle that "pull-ups work and don't fix what ain't broken." There was no real method to our madness, no tricks, except minor motivation, redirection, etc. and honestly, it was done in Daniel's own time. He pretty much made up his mind that enough was enough and that he was ready to go from refusing to sit on the toilet to using it like the rest of the world. It was truly just a matter of his own time. That, I realize, is probably not helpful, but is is hopeful, maybe? And until that time comes, there is this stuff you can get at Home Depot called "Odor Away" (I think) it comes in a big jug and you dilute it as necessary and put it in a spray bottle. It is also a disinfectant. The smell is gentle and unobtrusive, but it does the job. Vinegar would perform a similar function…when the twins were babies, I kept a bowl of vinegar on top of their armoire to battle the diaper genie's shortcomings. The vinegar smell doesn't remain on the fabric after a few minutes and vinegar is also a disinfectant. Of course, you would want to dilute it, (probably no more than 1:1 or even 2:1 as long you're not spraying the actual kid and yes, I have sprayed the kid by accident…it's not the end of the world) as well. I make a citrus vinegar (just a big glass jar with orange, lemon, grapefruit peels in the vinegar left standing for 3 weeks or so) and this is a bit more powerful and it smells really good. I use vinegar in place of fabric softener, as well. I realize that these are probably band-aid solutions, but Gavin is at an age where he may be unaware, but still embarrassed, perhaps. And there have been nights when I simply did not have it in me to strip down the bed. Good Mommy. So removing the most offensive linens and de-peeing the rest was about my limit. My, I'm proud to write that…*sigh* Anyway, I'm guessing you know what I mean. Sometimes all we can do is get through the immediate and worry about the long term in the morning. –Leslie
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