Confessions of a special needs father: Overwhelmed, lost and tired

I have a confession to make.  I’m completely and utterly overwhelmed.  In the past three days we have several new challenges, Gavin and Elliott are both having seizures and Emmett has developed pneumonia.  Elliott will be seen today for possible pneumonia as well.

This has all happened in the past two or three days alone. 

If I had all the time in the world and all I had to do was physically care for my family, it would be overwhelming. It’s literally like having three full time jobs without the benefit of a paycheck.

However,  I have other responsibilities to worry about as well aside from the physical care.  I have to keep the house from falling apart,  fight the school system,  deal with bill collectors, navigate all the various medical issues and make sure everyone gets the care they need.  In my spare time,  I do my best to provide for my family and keep up this blog.

It’s like being tied to a dozen different horses and someone fires a gun. The horses get spooked and subsequently pull me in a dozen different directions at the same time.

As more and more piles on my plate,  it’s becoming much harder to maintain anything. I can’t keep up with the house.  I can’t keep up with the yard or get the things needed to make the yard safer for the boys. This shouldn’t have even been an issue because we were supposed to move.  The theft of our van and being forced into a car payment has had a tremendous impact on us and has stopped the move to a new house and better neighborhood,  dead in its tracks.

I just can’t win for trying. I’m tired, overwhelmed,  frustrated, angry and losing hope that things will one day get better for my family. I know I sound like a whiner but whatever.  Right now that’s the least of my worries. 

I try really hard to remain positive but with sleepless nights and really sick special needs kids,  it’s getting harder to remain positive.

I’m done venting for now.  Thanks for listening,  I really appreciate it.  🙂

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

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Posted from WordPress for Android so please forgive any typos as auto-correct and I don’t see eye to eye. 🙂

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Ann Holmes

What an honest blog post! Thanks! If prayers help – and they do – then I will pray for you and your family! Glad I ran across your blog on Twitter today.

Lost_and_Tired

Thank you. I both need it and appreciate it.

Kathryn

I don't have special needs kids, but I am a single mom trying to raise two kids on my own. I have fibro, and some issues with my back and neck. It is so hard trying to be the strong one and trying to keep everything going at the same time. Most days all I want to do is crawl under a rock and sleep for about a month or so. It does get better, I promise…….Keep your chin up, Rob….

Lost_and_Tired

Thank you 🙂

Claudia Neely

I'm with you: two kids on the spectrum, one with visual disabilities and one with scoliosis, both applying to college, a divorce and custody, homeschooling, and I'm in two schools, working part time and starting my coaching business.

Try to breathe. Ask for help. Pray in whatever way works for you. Cry.

You can feel so alone, but you aren't. Thanks for sharing; I bet you get lots of replies from all of us who have felt the same way.
My recent post Stress Transformation

Lost_and_Tired

Thanks. I know I\’m not alone, even though it feels that way at times. I just wish I could get the people in our lives to understand in the way that we all understand each other.

Denise

When it rains it pours as the saying goes! Take heart, you are a hero and whether you believe in God or not, you will be rewarded in the end,…. while the material items help us in our daily life, they won't last, but those souls entrusted to you will,… and God obviously saw you as the one – as overwhelming as it is you're the best man for the job 🙂 Hang in there, vent vent vent, thank God words have power to create healing and bring relief…you have a lot of super power going for you!
My recent post Brushing: part of a sensory diet

Tobius

I am not sure if this will help with your troubled times, but I hope it helps a bit..
Autism Anthem….. http://youtu.be/1hiQYurSJCQ

Lost_and_Tired

I really appreciate the thought 🙂

Tobius

Find a pillow, take a deep breath and scream into pillow, really it helps.. I know the feelings you are having..I feel the same way some days, I may not be a parent but I do look after a Autistic special needs person 24/7 and no breaks at all and yes she has seizures, tho mostly under control with meds….And I like the scream into a pillow idea, works for me.. 🙂

Dottie

it's not easy raising one child with autism, let along three while also caring for a spouse with health issues of her own. You're a strong man, but even strong men need help. Is there anyone who can help you, maybe give you a break for a little while at least? Don't give up. Pray. Continue praying. I'll be praying with you. I have an adult son with autism, in the moderate to severe category. He also has seizures. It seems to come with the territory with some of our kids. With the right medication his seizures have been largely controlled thank goodness.

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