While many of you are aware, my wife is an aspie. If you didn’t know that, we’ll now you do. It suffices to say that I’m the only neurotypical in the Lost and Tired household. I sometimes find myself at a loss because they way that I think and process things is one way, and the way the rest of the household processes things is completely different.
We have always taken a needs of the many over the needs of the few type approach to things. It’s usually serves us well but it doesn’t always work out well for me, as typically, I’m the odd man out.
Lizze for example, has a certain way of doing things. While most of the time it works for her, it makes no sense to me. Change is also something that Lizze really struggles with. She has routines just like the boys. If something happens to disrupt that routine, she has a very difficult time moving past it.
At times these differences can create tension. I think that most of the problem revolves around communication and the way we express ourselves. I’m a talker and like to resolve things through conversation. Lizze on the other hand, is more introverted. She doesn’t like to talk about things. When she does, we tend to be on the same page, but using different frequencies.
Does that make sense?
Lizze is my absolute best friend in the entire world and I’m hers. We always joke around about how incompatible we should be, at least in paper. However, we somehow manage to work but it’s not always easy. Not that anything worth having, ever is.
Sometimes I get frustrated because I can’t seem to get my point across to her, or she misreads the situation all together. However, she gets frustrated as well because I don’t always follow what’s she’s saying either. Many times, we find ourselves in a stalemate and have to resign to agreeing to disagree. That totally go eat against who I am at my core. To me, agreeing to disagree, leaves things unresolved.
One of the most interesting things we have both noticed is all the similarities between her and the boys. Sometimes is uncanny.
Having said that, while it’s true that being a neurotypical hundand to a wife with Asperger’s is challenging at times, the street goes both ways. I can be just as frustrating to her as she can be to me. However, as weird or as bad as this sounds, the dynamic of Lizze and I’s relationship actually benefits us.
Lizze has a very unique insight into what makes the boys tick. This is extremely helpful, as you can imagine.
Everyday, Lizze and I are learning to navigate our world’s together. It’s not always easy and often times frustrating. However, at the end of the day, I’m not married to #Autism, I’m married to Lizze.