Considering inpatient care

Gavin had the worst meltdown I have ever seem this morning. I don’t know what is happening to him but he is escalating out of control.  This morning he completely flipped out over Lego’s.

He has been hoarding all the Lego’s again. He makes these amazing creations, which is awesome. However, the problem is that he keeps these things long term. Basically, there’s no Lego’s left for the other boys. This leads to problems.

This morning I told him that he needs to put the Lego’s back into the pot.

I explained to him that his big Lego car needs to be pulled apart and the Lego’s returned to the bin. He began doing so, until I left, that is. As soon as I left, he hid his car and than made it look like he had done what I asked him to do, when in fact he didn’t.

When we caught him, he lost it.

This meltdown was 100% drama and completely within his control. I know that with confidence. When we ignored him, he escalated in an attempt to get our attention.

It became very obvious after the first 20 minutes that he was trying to manipulate the situation. He did a pretty thorough job of beating himself up as he has cuts, bruises and even shoe prints in his face and extremities.

I don’t know what we are going to do. This only ever happens when he’s caught doing something he’s not supposed to.

If we never held him accountable he’d likely never meltdown. We can’t not hold him accountable and we can’t allow his meltdowns to dictate to us whether or not we hold him accountable.

I fear he needs inpatient care.

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Leanna George

We are going through this ourselves. Our daughter (Serenity, age 9, Autism and ID-severe/profound) has gotten to the point the school can't handle her. At home, her non-aggressive behaviors bother me more than her aggressive ones (I can handle pinching, biting, scratching; but the blood curdling screams at nothing drive me batty). She has a history of attacking her younger brother as well. An incident back at Valentines day was pretty much the last straw (she bit my son really badly on his back and it's going to be scarred for a long time). She has also started kicking the dogs and now exhibits more Self injurious behavior on a daily basis. I have had to sacrifice everything I had ever hoped for and wanted as an adult to provide care for her cause the school decided 3 years ago only to give her 3 hours of school a day. Now it's only 3 hours a week so I never have a break. When she is at school, I'm waiting in the lobby for them to come and get me. There isn't time to do anything else but read a book I brought or I would.

The admissions board for the place we have an application in for her at is reviewing her case next week. If they reject her, then I'm going to have to find a lawyer to represent us cause FAPE will not be met any other way.

We have to do what is in the best interest of our children. We have to protect our youngest. We also have to have HOPE that these treatment programs will work for our children. The one we're trying to get Serenity into, is designed with the goal of the child being able to return to their homes and families within 2 years. Good luck.

Mj

Hi, my 17 year old is currently in a therapeutic residential school. He is not on the spectrum (my 3 year old daughter is) he has extreme ADHD and ODD the reason he is in residential is because he got bigger then my husband and I and we were no longer able to safely restrain him. He is almost six feet tall and 250 pounds. He has a lot of behavioral issues. When he was home we even had to lock up food because he ate compulsively. We were not able to get him into a hospital setting because he was not homicidal or suicidal. Just dangerously impulsive. One year later he is still in residential school. His behavior is more stabilized but I hate him being away. They were able to get him on medication which appears to be contolling lot of his impulsivity. We were unable to change meds at home because even subtle changes set him off. Even though a residential setting has some benefits there is also a down side. Family life is definitely impacted. There is a lack of positive role models and staff is alwys changing. It’s very difficult to I transition him back to family life when he’s not here. I guess what I’m saying is…really give it thought. If your child is still small enough to restrain safely and he’s not a danger to your other kids ( or himself or yourself) you might be able to manage him better then the staff at an impatient facility. I would suggest consulting with your own professionals first, such as a psychiatrist and neurologist and see what their thoughts are. Obviously I ran out of options with my son and I feared that my little one might get hurt but I am not exactly happy with the treatment that he is getting either. Now that his meds are straightened out I would like to try to bring him home. Special needs kids are at a high risk for being abused and when you are not there to see what’s happening it’s really difficult. If your child is not very verbal then there is even more to worry about. Some staff is wonderful, some could maybe use a little more patience. Just do a lot of research and exhaust other options first because there are benefits but there is also a downside. In the meantime make sure you get a little respite because this stuff is really exhausting. Not sure if I really covered all the pros and cons if you have any questions send me an e mail.

Maria Hall

I was pretty sure about that with my son too. But the inpatient people thought he was not far enough gone yet. The kids have to pretty much do a lot of serious harm to someone (read: kill or molest) before they will be considered candidates. Take him to Childrens and have him in the 8100 unit and see what they say, if he needs inpatient they will see that and recommend it. If he is a threat to self or others, and you describe the former, then they will keep him a few days. But they don't evaluate just stabilize and send home which is disappointing. Have you tried Family Council? I can get you their contact info, if he needs inpatient someone has to pay for it and it is very expensive, Family Council (cluster boards) help with this. Just send me an inbox that you need their info. I could suggest the school my son attends in Cuy Falls, they did miracles with my son in the behavior realm.

suzanne

Would keeping a photo scrapbook of Lego creations help? Perhaps as sooon as a creation is made it could be photographed to put in a special scrapbook and then there is a time limit before it must go back in the box. Obiviously it won't assist for current situation but for future Lego episodes?

Kate

At the very best, somebody might come up with a workable drug or treatment plan in in-patient. At the very least, you get respite from one another for a short bit of time. Don't discount the worth of that all the way around. If he likes it, the stay will be helpful. If he doesn't, it can be some leverage to require good behavior in the future. Sometimes it is good to just break the patterns going on. Uh, you might have noticed, our kids get "stuck" in a thought, behavior, whatever, and sometimes the push needs to be somewhat dramatic to be successful. Good luck, and please do not feel guilty if you choose to hospitalize–it is what it's there for.

Janine

By the sounds of things I think your fears are valid. You guys are going above and beyond.

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