What will happen to my child with #Autism when I’m gone?



I’ve talked about this many times.  I think it’s really important to voice our fears or concerns for our child’s future because it will help everyone focus on our common goal.

Our common goal should be to spread #Autism Awareness so that our children can have the brightest future possible. 

One of the things that I think transcends our differences is a common concern or fear for our child’s future. The biggest fear I have and that I hear from other parents is what will happen to my kids when I’m gone?

That terrifies me and keeps me up at night. 



I’m doing everything I can to prepare them for the world and prepare the world for them.

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I wanted to openly and honestly discuss this because there are many things we can do to help ensure that our kids are cared for.
I thought we could share ideas or things we can do to prepare our children with #Autism to venture out into the world or simply help to prepare them for life after we aren’t here.



I know this is a really scary and depressing thing to think about but it’s reality.  We can’t be here forever, what will happen to our kids when we’re gone?

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct hate me.

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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

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reality_autism
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reality_autism

@Kiboomu thx

nosleepintoon
Guest

It is something that regularly crosses my mind about my daughter as well.  We can never have a diagnosis of autism for her because her cognitive function is so impaired that they can't tell properly apart from to say she has 'autistic traits'.  Along with her many other problems it worries me that we wont be able to care for her as she (and we) get older and if there will be adequate help for her in place before we shuffle off. I think it is a sign of a dedicated parent that we think about these things but as… Read more »

Batty
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Batty

In Virginia we have had a lawyer come and speak to our parents support group about setting up trust funds and such for our kids that will never be able to make it on their own.  There is a group here that operates homes for people with disabilities.  Relatives give a house to this group (because if you leave it to your disabled child the government cuts off their assistance) with a stipulation that their child will have a lifetime home.  They will place one or two other people with disabilities in the home and the group provides oversight and… Read more »

Patrick Toussaint
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Patrick Toussaint

This last year has really driven this home for me – my wife and partner of the last 22 years of my life lost her battle with ovarian cancer in April, and if it wasn't for my 22 year old daughter's help, I don't think I would have been able to last as long as I have with my two autistic boys (my 21 year old son is a non verbal autistic who has refused to leave the house since his mother came home from the hospital in February, and my 20 year old son isn't so hard to handle,… Read more »

Batty
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Batty

 @Patrick Toussaint I am constantly amazed at ASD parents who soldier on in spite of appalling odds and circumstances that most NT parents would fold up under.  Patrick–you are amazing,  Even in the process of grief, etc., you are still able to see what the best way to care for your boys.  If you get any nonsense from anyone, send them our way and we will mince them into tiny three letter words!  I have just one question–will you try to get them placed in the same home?
Karen

Patrick Toussaint
Guest
Patrick Toussaint

 @Batty  @Patrick Toussaint I'm not sure – the ideal would be in the same home so they won't feel so alone, but because their needs are different, that may not be feasible.  Time will tell – for now, I'm just putting one foot in front of the other. 😀

Rob Gorski
Admin

 @Patrick Toussaint I'm so sorry for your loss. You are an absolute inspiration. Please feel free to retire your "lurker" status. I would love to get to know you better. We can all help each other. 🙂

autismrw
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autismrw

@Lost_and_Tired It is important to prepare for it with a clear will and if possible life insurance to cover the support and help as adults.

Lost_and_Tired
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Lost_and_Tired

@ASAPAspergers thank you for the RT

DavidPutano
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DavidPutano

@ASAPAspergers @lost_and_tired have faith, (literally) get on you knees and pray!

Lost_and_Tired
Guest
Lost_and_Tired

@troycorley thanks for the RT

RacattackForce
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RacattackForce

@Lost_and_Tired Damn, this brought to mind my worries about how my brother and I will take care of our sister when our parents die…

AmyIsland
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AmyIsland

@troycorley @Lost_and_Tired Thinking about it always makes me nervous. How could you know he or she feels all right? :/

autismphils
Guest
autismphils

[Blog] What will happen to my child with #Autism when I'm gone? http://t.co/cZaaD4YW via @Lost_and_Tired

Lilac
Guest
Lilac

I pray to God, that's the best thing I can do, and work hard so that I can put up some trust fund or business for her. I pray especially that my daughter will have a kind and caring husband when she grows up 🙂 She is an only child and an autist. However, I thank God that she is high-functioning and most of the time can manage on her own. 

Rob Gorski
Admin

@Lilac I understand, trust me.

rebeccamagliozzi
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rebeccamagliozzi

This is something that scares my husband and I should something happen to us before our boys are grown up. No one in our family will agree to be a guardian for our oldest son, because of his autism and behavioral problems. His PANDAS can be really scary and frustrating to deal with. I am sure someone would take in the youngest, who is neurotypical. But we are terrified the oldest will be placed in foster care by both our families, and who knows what would happen to him there. We have some relatives who are too unstable to take… Read more »

lostandtired
Guest

@rebeccamagliozzi This is one of my motivations for taking care of myself, or at least trying to.

aayres66
Guest
aayres66

I’m a Mum to a 6 year old and this question absolutely terrifies me! My son is my only child as his behaviour is very challenging I didn’t have another as planned. My marriage sufferred as well as friendships which as you all know is very isolating. I still haven’t found a good enough answer to this yet.
Much love
Parentingachildwithasd.blogspot