About an hour ago, Gavin was officially, if not temporarily, moved out of the house. Lizze’s mom arrived after work to pick him up.
As I mentioned earlier today, this is a very bittersweet moment for the Lost and Tried family.
On one hand, our 12 year old son has moved in with his grandparents and that’s difficult on all of us, especially Elliott. On the other hand, we can all finally take a deep breath and relax for once.
The boys are pretty upset right now and who can blame them. This is one of those things that will hopefully get easier with time.
The goal here is to get the funding together that’s needed for Gavin to be placed in residential treatment, while Gavin’s at his grandparents.
The truth in the matter is that even they can only deal with so much and if Gavin gets too out of control, we’ll have to step back into the picture. Right now we trying to minimize any and all contact so the boys can begin to feel safe again and we can hopefully stop Emmett’s backwards slide.
We are far more upset than Gavin is. In fact, I don’t think that Gavin even cares that he’s leaving. I mean he is going to his grandparents, so that’s easier but still.
I’m really feeling numb right now because while I love Gavin, he’s destroying our family. This is absolutely necessary for the rest of us to survive. Maybe if we didn’t have the other boys to worry about, things might be different.
We never planned for anything like this to happen.
Personally, I always had hoped that we would make some type of breakthrough with him and we could all be one happy family.
Unfortunately, at this point, it’s not in the cards.
Hopefully the future holds something different for Gavin and we can all be safely reunited once again.
Until such a time, life with be loved one day at a time.
I understand that confusion of feelings. We have been considering residential treatment for my 10 year old daughter. I hope that the grandparents are willing and actually able to deal with his behaviors for a while. There's two sides to placing with family vs strangers at a facility and both are equally stressful. It's hard to know where to draw the line between damage to the whole family and damage to one member. Nobody told me it would be this hard, but I wouldn't have been able to believe them if they had. Good luck with everything and thank you for sharing.
All of you need a break,Stop beating your self up.Gavin is going to his Grandparents ,not yet the treatment center,this is a good move,because God willing ,this will give the boys adjustment time,that yes they know where Gavin is ,and it is in good place,a place they know,and they are protected from Gavin behavior ,So they know that brother is fine ,and they are going to be fine,the house will calm down . Repeat to yourself ,your son is with people that Love him,you if needed ,will give help to parents that have him,you tell them if needed, call you ,the police the hospital , From this moment on,you are doing the best for all,and you doing ALL you can,You are good man,Lizze a loving mother,keep moving forward,Praying for funding for Gavin ,as soon a possible, Hang in there,Gloria