Visitation

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Visitation. I hate that word.  It brings back memories of the forced visitation that Gavin had with his abusive biological fathers side of the family.

I swore that as a family, we would never have to endure that again. 

However, this afternoon Gavin was home for about 2 hours.  It was a chance for the boys to visit with each other.  They spent the time playing 3DS together. 

I made sure that everyone kept a to their own personal space but they all got along well, for the most part. 



Emmett was a bit difficult but everything worked out. 

The three of them took turns with Elliott’s 3DS and did a great job.  After Gavin left, the boys have been a bit on the frazzled side.  Elliott has been crying because he wants a kitten and Emmett has been screaming over just about everything. 

At the advice of Dr.  Patti, Lizze hid away upstairs while Gavin was home. She was able to get a 2 hour nap and that was helpful for her. 



It was odd because Gavin never asked about her once. 

Lizze and I have been discussing some type of visitation for the boys and Gavin.  Short bursts of time that won’t be overwhelming for the boys or for Gavin.

I dislike the fact that something like this is once again necessary in our lives but it is what it is. 

I’m just glad that everything seemed to work out this afternoon.  Time will tell if there are any lingering issues as a result of the boys getting together. I would expect some issues but hopefully nothing that would keep something like this from happening again, at a later date.

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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

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hudginsvicky
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hudginsvicky

I might have missed something, but why is this necessary? It seems counter-productive to what you've been trying to achieve.  I thought the goal was to create a calmer and safer environment, without Gavin's influence, and without his explosive and dangerous behavior.   I thought the urgency of removing him from your home was based on concern for the boys' and Lizze's safety. You mentioned that Emmett (?) said he didn't want to see Gavin, and Lizze falls apart at the mere thought of him being there. It seems like you are all hanging on by the slenderest of threads.… Read more »

lostandtired
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@hudginsvicky I think came across wrong. We are trying to minimize contact. Unfortunately, there will be times that Gavin has to be home. For example, I have no idea what's going to happen over Thanksgiving break. That actually worries me. What I'm trying to do is make the best out of a bad situation. Until he gets into placement, assuming that ever happens, we are at the mercy of the people helping us out with him. If they are unavailable, he comes home. I was trying to say that this was very much like a visitation. I was very closely… Read more »

Batty
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Batty

Rob–I see where Vicky is going with her comments.  I was just wondering if these "short" visits would not be better conducted somewhere away from the house?  Maybe at the therapist's office and each child having a support person present so if there is a crisis, there is still someone there to supervise if one of the Es has a meltdown that requires removal from the room where the visit is taking place.  Also, videotaping the visits might be useful as well.  As far as the kitten goes, I can't help there, but we do have 3 dachshund puppies for… Read more »