Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong

      5 Comments on Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong


There is a chance that Gavin will be home all next week.  This may not come to pass but until we know otherwise, I feel like we should be prepared. 

It’s no hard not to worry about the impact this whole thing is having on both Elliott and Emmett. In fact, for us, it’s literally impossible not to worry about the behaviors we are seeing. 

image

For example, both boys are afraid to use the bathroom by themselves.  Emmett completely strip off all his clothes to go potty and then can’t get himself dressed again.



These are both things we moved beyond,as the year.

The past few months, we have seen a growing trend of returning behaviors, we once thought to be overcome. It’s easy to say, don’t worry about it, kids are resilient. That’s a true statement, however, when you have experienced things over and over again, that statistically shouldn’t be happening, it’s a great deal tougher to feel at peace or not to worry. 

Case in point. 



Gavin is beyond rare. The unique combination of health and mental health issues are so uncommon, we literally can find anyone that can give us any answers. 

It may seem that I’m overreacting to Emmett’s trend towards regression lately. I can understand why someone might think that.  However, Gavin was Emmett’s age when he began to regress and look at what happened to him.

Once something that almost never happens to anyone, happens to you, it changes you to such a degree that you become hypervigilant.  There’s really no way around that when your family becomes a statistical anomaly. 

We have a very good friend that used to work in the social services and work with the volunteer guardian program. It was their job to advocate for children and ensure their best interests. I remember talking to her one night about something that had happened during a court hearing, regarding Gavin’s custody. 

She said to me that it used to be tough to believe all the things we said were going on.  It used to appear that we were overreacting.  However, after gaining some insight into our lives, especially the court stuff, she told me this. She said that when it comes to our lives,  anything that can happen, will happen.  She asked how we could not overreact when all the things that everyone told us would never happen, did?

I could go down a list of all the things that should never have happened but did anyway. A lot of people wouldn’t believe it but that doesn’t matter. 

Wow… Getting back to the point.

The point I was trying to make, before I completely derailed this post was that I’m really worried about the boys.

I suppose I could have just said that in the first place.

It’s really difficult for either Lizze or myself not to worry about the boys revisiting some of these past behaviors once again.

Can any of you relate to this?

Take a second and answer the poll

Did you gain guardianship of your child with Autism when they turned 18?

Facebook Profile photo

About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

5
Leave a Reply (Login to the site or comment as a guest)

Please Login to comment
avatar
3 Comment threads
2 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
5 Comment authors
Lost and TiredhudginsvickyMariaHalllostandtiredwyrdpookaone Recent comment authors

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
wyrdpookaone
Guest
wyrdpookaone

ohh yes I can relate.  It’s like being the punch line of a joke no one gets.

lostandtired
Guest

@wyrdpookaone well said a day great way to describe it.

MariaHall
Guest
MariaHall

You and Lizze may be worried but kids smell worry faster than a dog sniffs out fear. You both will have to put on your smiling, confident faces for those little boys and keep saying that it will be alright, that together we will all manage and who knows, Gavin might be feeling a little more relaxed and things may go smoother than anticipated. My mom used to say fake it till you make it…

hudginsvicky
Guest
hudginsvicky

My son’s development has been a frustrating journey of two steps forward, one step back. I still see him “backsliding” at times, and it’s very hard to take. It happens less than it used to, but other issues have taken its place. The important thing I try to remember is that he still keeps making progress, and he continues surprising us with the person he’s becoming.   Rob, your life in many ways is like a war, and you’re on the front lines, alone. You need a lot of rest and healing, which you probably won’t get any time soon.… Read more »