I just can’t sleep tonight. Lizze and I decided to call Elliott off of school again because he’s not really eating. He are lunch yesterday and that’s a food thing. However, all he would eat for dinner was a small dish of yogurt.
He’s got big bags under his eyes and he’s just so incredibly sad.
I have a 6 old little boy with aspergers, asthma, severe anxiety, most likely adhd and now a tree nut allergy. He’s barely eating and is extremely moody.
His little heart is broken over the whole Gavin thing and his anxiety is keeping him from eating because he’s afraid something will have nuts in it and he’ll get sick and have to use his epipen. That’s my best guess is to what’s going on.
I feel like a complete failure as a father.
I feel like somethings wrong with Elliott and I don’t know how to help him..
Maybe the medication was a mistake? At this point, I think that we have to look at everything. He’s changed a great deal since beginning the medication for adhd and anxiety. However, at the same time, everything with Gavin happened about the same time.
Who the hell knows what’s going on? I certainly don’t. That much I know for sure.
I know that Elliott won’t eat at school,even though the school would make sure it was safe. They have another student with a similar allergy as well.
How can I send him to school knowing that he’s not eating. When you offer him something to eat, he simply says “no thank you, I’m fine.”
It’s 2am and I’m sitting up in bed, sick to my stomach with worry.
Not only about this thing with Elliott but also something that has come up with Gavin that I’ll go into in another post.
I feel like a complete and utter failure. I can’t get anything done, no matter how hard I try. I have bills to pay, article deadlines to meet so I can pay those bills, kids that are in a daddy phase and demanding every ounce of my attention, a wife who’s health is getting worse buy the day and child that we had to move out of our house at the age of 12.
Oh…..and a 6 year old that is refusing to eat out of fear for his life.
There isn’t a pill, legal or not, that can help take the edge off of this.
We can go grocery shopping next week and that should help Elliott. However until then, we’re limited as to what we can offer him.
I know this isn’t all about me but I’m totally beginning to come apart at the seams. Oh…..did I forget to mention that Emmett is rolling into another fever flare?
Whether it’s rational or not, you’ll never convince me that I’m not failing my family. I realize that this is kind of a lot to cope with but to me, that’s no excuse.
Please God, let today be a better day. At least help Elliott to begin eating something.