Do you ever feel forgotten by those around you?



I was wondering if anyone else out there gets resentful? I don’t necessarily mean anything about our kids. 

Perhaps frustrated is a better word to use.  I find myself frustrated and even a bit resentful because while my family is struggling to survive, it seems like life just goes on, all around us. 

I’m the oldest of 6 kids and everyone lives within 30 minutes of each other, some just a few minutes down the road. You know what, I never hear from any of them. No one seems to have a clue how bad things are going for us. I mean, it’s not like I keep it a friggin  secret. Jesus Christ, I have almost 1,000,000 hits every single month. Do you know how many of them are from my siblings?

Zero……



They love us and they love the boys, there’s no question about that.

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Why not be more involved? Why not try to help us? Why not call and just see how we’re doing?



Today at Easter dinner, I was really in a bad place.  I was listening to everyone talking about places they go together and all the fun they’re having.  I’m happy for them and I want them to have fun but why do we seem to be forgotten?

I know we can’t go most places and we never have money to go out but that doesn’t mean we can’t at least talk on the phone. 

When something goes wrong, Lizze and I are the first ones that everyone goes to for help and we’re always happy to give or do whatever we possibly can.

Just so we’re crystal clear. I don’t feel like we’re entitled to anything and no one owes us at all, but it would be nice not to feel like we’re forgotten. Every day is such a struggle and sometimes it would be nice to not feel forgotten.

Do you ever feel like you’re forgotten by those around you? Do you ever get frustrated or feel hurt that life goes on around you as though you and you’re family aren’t there?


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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

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Christal31
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Christal31

Yes, absolutely! I don’t think they intentionally do it. I had to tell my best two girlfriends who are like sisters to me, that, that was happening. They weren’t aware they were doing it. It got better for a while, but we are right back to feeling left out or ignored. I don’t know if it is because they all have typical teenagers and mine seem kind of frozen in time with their developmental delays or what. It hurts, I try to get over it. It really isn’t anybody’s fault, I guess, just part of life. Everyone has a season… Read more »

Jenn50
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Jenn50

I don’t feel forgotten, but I get resentful as all hell listening to what seems like EVERYONE talking about vacations, day trips and fun. Money is tight, and little missy is going through a phase where she refuses to transition from one place to another, so the simple act of going for a walk or getting into the van involves a physical battle leaving me physically and emotionally battered. I’m so jealous and resentful of my family and friends who can throw their kids in the car for a trip to the zoo or a vacation without any of these… Read more »

juneinreno
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juneinreno

I’ll jump to your family’s defense and say that every other family has issues and problems to deal with… even if they don’t blog about them.
Maybe your brothers and sisters have a lot on their respective plate too that you are unaware of.

lostandtired
Guest

@juneinreno that’s kind of you but there’s no need. Non of them have kids and their lives revolve around work and play and drinking. They are bad people just very into their own needs.

scrapperdee
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scrapperdee

I feel it too but with friends.  “Mom” friends happily invite me out and I have a nice visit, but I feel invisible sitting there with them.  They are talking about this outing, or trip or funny things their kids did, or problems they are having with this and that…all of which I may never experience with my son.  I never feel like I can talk about him because the stuff he’s doing…their toddlers did quite awhile ago and it feels silly to even bring it up (one actually thought it was funny that I was so excited that my… Read more »

lostandtired
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scrapperdee I totally understand. 🙁

rmagliozzi
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rmagliozzi

I’m sorry, Rob. That totally sucks! yes, I can relate. We go through our struggles, and rarely ask for help, and when we do, like maybe asking a relative to watch our autistic son for a few hours because his school is on break that day and we both have to work, they turn around and flake out. But of course they will watch everyone else’s kids all the time. I often feel like I am on the craplist. We don’t get fancy vacations, tons of outings like my siblings. In fact, we have never had a weekend away fromt… Read more »

lostandtired
Guest

rmagliozzi I think we all deserve more help. What ever happened to “it takes a village”?

mkosmicki1
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mkosmicki1

Rob, I hear ya.  I generally don’t hear from my family unless they need something.  We all live at least an hour from each other, and there are no phone calls or e-mails unless someone is organizing a family get together at their house.  My parents have given and continue to give loads of financial help to my siblings…but not to us.  They won’t even donate to local/national autism groups.  We have not asked for anything from them over the years, as there are always strings attached. My folks will take my son a couple times a year during school… Read more »

lostandtired
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mkosmicki1 I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It just sucks when family and friends don’t support us. Please add me to your list of virtual friends. 🙂

JamileyKeller
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JamileyKeller

I don’t feel forgotten about but I do feel resentful.  My family, most of them, call quite often.  The whole seeing each other and spending time with each other part is where I have my issue.  I have 3 sisters, all of whom have children of their own.  One of my sisters lives about 20 minutes away and my mom always complains about not getting to see her kids enough but when she does see them she keeps them for weekends and sometimes weeks.  She constantly babysits for another one of my sisters keeping her son overnight as well.  I… Read more »

lostandtired
Guest

JamileyKeller Thank you so much for your honesty.