Every once in awhile, I find myself really depressed by Facebook. It’s not so much Facebook as it is reading other people’s updates.
Let me explain…..
It’s not that I’m unhappy with my life because I wouldn’t trade it for anything. However, there are things that I miss or feel like I’m missing out on.
One of the biggest things lacking in my life, is probably friends. I had lots of friends in both high school and college. I thought I would take many of these friends with me throughout life.
I was wrong about that.
Facebook is the only window I have into my old friendships. As many of you probably already know, when you’re a special needs parent, you don’t always have the luxury of friendships.
It’s never a good practice to assume that the grass is greener on the other side. Having said that, I read the updates that my college and high school friends share and they seem to be doing really well.
It can be hard for me not to compare my life to theirs.
I see the nice house in the nice neighborhood and I’m honestly jealous. I also see all the pictures of friends and family, that go on vacation. They all deserve these things because I know how hard they work.
As a special needs parent, I work really hard as well but the payout for my hard work is a whole lot different. My reward is physically surviving the day with all my kids intact. know that is a hugely positive thing. I just wish my hard work paid off in ways that would actually improve my family’s quality of life.
I clearly have a slight case of the green eyed monster. Please don’t mistake this for me being ungrateful. I’m eternally grateful for my family as well as what we do have.
I was just wondering if any of you ever feel the same way, while browsing through Facebook.
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And it just makes you wanna pull the covers over your head….depression is horrible ….
My mother, who can be very judgemental about my sons condition said to me today on the phone that NOBODY would put up with this, especially a man ( because iam single). my response was ~ Why do you think i dont go anywhere, or see anybody.. Its very difficult to have a mother who only can point out the negatives, its hard enough let alone knowing i have to keep alot of things to myself because she is too quick to give the wrong advice. Yep, it sure is lonely and facebook just adds to my frustrations aswell.
I totally understand.
The one that gets to me most is the baseball or whatever sport. When the parents are complaining of having to be at the field all day. I’d love for my guy to be able to do that. Then comes the guilt of his younger nt sister missing out because there just isn’t enough money for that right now. The little every day stuff I want for both of my kids. Oh, and the pictures without all the clutter in the background..lol
That’s exactly how it is. Well said Marc
It seems like you stand still and the world is moving on without you…I know it well….
Sorry if I’ve contributed to this Rob 🙁
julh not at all. We talk all the time and you’re like an extended member of our family. Plus you “get it” and you work with this stuff every day. 🙂
lostandtired julh I’m truly flattered you consider me an extended member of your family 🙂 I will make it over there eventually to meet you all properly 🙂
You bet! Summer is especially hard. I see pictures of people jetting off to fabulous places that I will never be able to afford to go to, and I think “What did we ever do to lose out on that?” I see friends floating in some gorgeous lake, with a drink in hand, and I think “I could never do that, because I have to be ready to sprint after missy at any second to keep her out of harm’s way. And I can’t have a margarita, because I can barely cope stone cold sober, much less with my reflexes dulled.” I get so resentful, and so despondent about the fact that I don’t see any way this will ever change. I know it’s not the fault of these carefree folks on these blissful vacations, but I find myself hating them a little, while in the throes of a pity party.
Jenn50 I get it. It’s difficult, especially when faced with so much adversity.