Heartbroken and torn about what to think and feel

Gavin’s “Imaginary friends” are beginning to play a larger and larger roll in his life.  He’s spent a great deal of time in his room today, playing cards with Sonic and Amy’s son Jack.

I showed you all a video of Gavin explaining what he’s doing.  If you missed it earlier, it’s right here.

He’s been back for several rematches. In fact, the last game lasted an exhausting 45 minutes. In this particular session, Gavin and Jack were playing War together.

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I was informed that Jack doesn’t like the fact that Gavin sometimes cheats at cards but Gavin like to tease him.

Keep in mind, Jack isn’t real. He’s not real in the sense that you and I would consider real. However, Gavin certainly considers him to be very real and very much a part of his life for now. 

I honestly don’t know what to really feel about this. 

It’s definitely a problem and there’s no question about that.  However, Gavin’s actually happy and at this point he’s not hurting anyone.  What are we supposed to do with that?

If and when we get his medications right, these friends will disappear, at least until the next inevitable psychotic break.

This Autism Dad is heartbroken and torn as to what to think and feel.

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Read This  Artwork by Gavin: Marvel


  • pixelpup2001 says:

    Hi Rob, I just found your blog. Boy oh boy, I know so many parents who are Lost and Tired. I know how you feel. My son is younger than yours and from what I’ve been told by parents who have older spectrum kids, the older they get the harder it is to get them to socialize. So a small group of us got together and formed our own socializing group. We spoke a local grocery store and they donated their cooking room and with a volunteer chef taught our older kids to cook over a six week period. For the younger ones, we got free space at a local ABA therapy centre. We do crafts, story time and play time all in an hour. Parents stay and help out and have fun making something with their child or children. Anyway, as parents we are tired of paying for programs to put our kids in. But without them, our children do shut down to people. You have to push them into programs for socializing. I find my son can’t handle being around NT kids but he does do very well around Spectrum kids. Just being in a room of kids is socializing for spectrum kids, even if it looks like they are not. If there are no local free socializing programs. Take the plunge and start one of your own. We made an “I Can” program for our older kids have attended workshops from an auto mechanic, MacDonald’s owner, musician, Photographer, Artist and human resources manager. All just to expose the kids to something out of their comfort zone. You may be worried about your son’s behaviour, our son is quite violent but at every session he has not touched anyone. He still runs wildly, screaming etc. Not one parent says a thing, we’re all in the same boat, all of our child act up but I can say this. My son loves the program, no matter what his behaviour is that night at the end of the day, his joy is all that matters. One hour of a smile makes up for the twelve hours of wild and crazy. I don’t know if any of this helps, you can delete it if it doesn’t or pisses you off. My belief is we have to share if we’re going to survive. Sometimes the talk helps and sometimes it doesn’t.   All we can do is try.

  • HandbookMomma says:

    Rob, I really don’t know what to say except for that my heart is hurting for you too right now. It’s the whole “damned if you do and damned if you don’t” problem we face. I like DKS3’s comment but I don’t doubt it that you have tried that, I know you guys have been through hell and back with all your boys. Just take your time and enjoy the happiness that your son is experiencing, at least he is interacting with you and being positive about it. In the video you  were showing an interest in his life and he was happy to share it with you; that’s a good thing. ((HUGS))

  • Abbe Gates says:

    gosh i would be sad if he were to lose this imaginary world…i have no experience with this, but I feel your heartache …..

  • DKS3 says:

    I understand your reasoning for having him in his room.  You said earlier he spends a majority of his day there isolated due to issues he has with the younger boys.  As sad as it sounds, this is social interaction he enjoys.  DOes anyone in the home maybe sit down with him and play cardsso that he can possibly have a tangable person to play with.  I grew up an only child and while i know I never saw anyone, I had “friends” because I had no one.  If he has the mentality of a 4 year old like you say, then imaginary friends would be right on target for that age.  Im not trying to downplay a possible serious issue and i kno wyou say he has been diagnosed but maybe getting him away from these friends and engaging him more with real people would curb these issues

  • DKS3 says:

    I understand your reasoning for having him in his room.  You said earlier he spends a majority of his day there isolated due to issues he has with the younger boys.  As sad as it sounds, this is social interaction he enjoys.  DOes anyone in the home maybe sit down with him and play cardsso that he can possibly have a tangable person to play with.  I grew up an only child and while i know I never saw anyone, I had “friends” because I had no one.  If he has the mentality of a 4 year old like you say, then imaginary friends would be right on target for that age.  Im not trying to downplay a possible serious issue and i kno wyou say he has been diagnosed but maybe getting him away from these friends and engaging him more with real people would curb these issues

  • Michele Sterling says:

    I think you are right, if he’s not hurting anyone, let it be. I understand your feelings about this , it’s got to be hard watching him so engrossed in his “world”. Has he ever invited you to play? Have you ever asked? I don’t know much about the subject but is it possible for him to allow you in to participate?