While we were at Dr. Patti’s tonight, we learned the nature of the CPS inquiries about Lizze and I.
Basically what happened was someone filed a complaint about me because of a blog post I wrote last month. I don’t even remember what the whole post was about but it was one that I shared that sometimes I feel like I can’t go on. The second post was one in which I expressed that I was frustrated and angry with Gavin because of his behaviors that day.
The context of that post was that I was trying to help people understand that it’s okay to feel these things. What matters the most is how you choose to deal with those feelings.
This is not an uncommon message to read here.
Anyway, this person quoted my post and emailed it to Child Protective Services, along with there concerns about me……or something to that effect. Oh.. I remember now. The complaint was that I’m frustrated and angry at Gavin.
The CPS supervisor spoke with Dr. Patti today and asked if I was indeed frustrated. Dr. Patti explained that yes I’m frustrated but not without good reason.
The CPS supervisor asked Dr. Patti is she had any concerns and the answer was no. We’re doing the best we can inside of a impossible situation.
The CPS supervisor said that’s all she needed to know. She said that she didn’t want to investigate anything because we were just investigated and they know that we are doing everything we can.
That’s it. Over, done with, gone.
Everything is okay and while I’m sure that this far from the last time we will be subjected to this type of thing, it was handled very well by the CPS supervisor.
She even recognized the emotional impact that false allegations can have on a family. Kudos to her… 🙂
Thank you everyone for your support….
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We need to remember that very recently a mother tried to kill her autistic teen and herself. Her actions have made people hypersensitive to even the most normal feeling or emotion expressed through social media.
I doubt that person wanted to hurt you bit just wanted to make sure you were in a good place and your child was safe.
monkette EAwidmom, ABA is a very interesting therapy, in that it “blames the victim”. The more that we, as autistics, can suppress the pain and stress underlying our symptoms and pretend to be ‘normal’, the more rewards we get. It’s a very popular therapy with the drug companies (whose owners also own the banks and the processed food companies), because it denies the very real health challenges causing the symptoms of autism.
Many of these health problems are aggravated, if not caused, by current food and health practices (autistics are notoriously vulnerable to food additives, as well as over-the-counter and prescription drugs). Addressing our underlying health challenges would cut into processed food, drug, and bank profits. I’m not surprised that ABA therapists get bonuses for turning in parents who are doing helpful things (including venting in appropriate venues)… but I am definitely saddened and frustrated by this, as an Asperger’s adult who has spent over 3 decades figuring out the science that substantiates the experience of autism, and autism recovery.
Not all private industry is corrupting, though. I’m very encouraged with the number of large and small companies who are leaders in shifting our North American culture towards social health, environmental health, and personal health, as well as maintaining their own business’s economic health. It can be done, it is getting ever-more common, and I am fiercely supportive of this! Please don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater,
Best Wishes, Jackie McMillan, ThriveWithAutism.ca
@Tammy Wagar, I’m glad you’re keeping the music and joy in your life. You have no idea how much benefit that is to your child. With our health challenges, we are emotional barometers, and the more fragile our health, the more a parent’s or caregiver’s moods can affect our quality of life, and even health. Keep doing what feeds your own soul, and you will be feeding your child’s soul — and health. I’ve Asperger’s, and I’ve been working, researching, and advocating in this field for 20 years. If you need someone to back your actions up with data, let me know.
Best Wishes, Jackie McMillan, ThriveWithAutism.ca
Ruedii , I get frustrated at my own behaviour and limitations even now, after over 30 years of gradual improvements from scanning the research, and trial and error for what will help, and what will hurt my symptoms of autism. I cannot imagine a caring parent not being similarly frustrated… though I’ve seen enough overwhelmed parents who just couldn’t spare the energy. Sure wish we could create better supports linking those of us affected, and helping us to buffer each other from the potential systemic problems and abuses. Much appreciate your wry humour,
Cheers, Jackie McMillan, ThriveWithAutism.ca
Hi Rob, please do make sure you’ve got legal support. CPS, or our Canadian equivalent here, can be just awful when you try some of the more helpful interventions such as the GFCF or especially the GAPS diet. Behaviours can drop hugely (if gradually) and functional gains according to the ATEC assessment can be pretty amazing (I sure liked closing the gap between my good days and my ‘bad’ ones). Doing it for yourself is one thing, as an adult ‘of sound mind’ (though it’s not unknown for us to be institutionalized as of unsound mind when our families don’t like our health and functional improvement experimenting, even as adults).
The drug companies have such a hold on medical training and thought, though, that even when you do alternative interventions with incredible research back-up for positive impact, if you’re a parent you can have your child removed from your household, protection, and support… There is a mum who adopted two autistics from Quebec who is fighting for the return of her wards, both currently drugged and institutionalized because of their upset when removed from her home because of a volunteer’s complaint about the rigid (GFCF) diet she had them on.
It’s hard to believe that failing to feed a child processed and junk foods (also owned by the drug company owners) is sufficient to remove a child from your protection. Best wishes with Gavin,
Jackie McMillan, ThriveWithAutism.ca
Get a restraining order and a good lawyer pro bono to sue the crap out of the vindictive little rodent.
What a bunch of crap, I wish people would not make spite calls to CPS. CPS is not a joke, they have a job to do and can’t do it if they are forced to follow up on bogus calls. And seriously, like SN parents need more to take on in addition to therapy, fighting for services, meds and then that to deal with too?
we are human and feelings are normal it is how you deal with them that matters, talking to others in similar situations is one excellent way to let go of them and move on to the next thing
yay, I have been there a couple years ago over a stupid call
It is so wrong that people jump to the wrong conclusions without first talking to the one they think is doing wrong stay strong
EAwidmom with us, also the ABA therapist made two referrals, just ridiculous things. I’m convinced these ABA contractors have so much to gain by reporting! For them it’s 18 months of frozen highest rate care, especially when they remove your children. At a certain point, after so many referrals, the question will be, well there’s so many referrals, there has to be something going on here, yes, do watch your backs. It’s more about making money than caring for children these days. Private industry is corrupting.
elizabethtaylor202 My thoughts exactly. 🙂 Why can’t more people be like that?
This is awesome news. I think it is absurd that someone reported you for talking about your true feelings. Being a parent is hard work but toss in medical problems and special needs kids, things can easily go from good to bad in the matter of a few minutes. I remember when my oldest son was a mess, I used to go to the doctors office frustrated because I was crying out for help for my son. I wanted him to just be normal or as close to normal as possible. Which is what you are doing for your own children. I think it is better to vent your frustrations and anger and deal with those emotions in a constructive way, even if that means sharing it on your blog. There are far worse things you could do to vent your frustrations. Don’t let the haters get you down.
I’m glad this worked out for you. With that said, you still need to watch what you are saying to people and writing on this blog. Not fair, I know since you didn’t do anything wrong to begin with. I understand you want to be transparent about your life and challenges but it’s too easy for things to be misinterpreted. If there is a concern, no matter how small it may seem, they have to look into it. My family’s case was closed and unfounded in October of last year and thought it was over. Around the holidays I was frustrated about the cost of my oldest son’s needed pediasure and was venting to the in home ABA therapist. In January I had a visit from an investigator regarding that. Once I shown her I had the pediasure in the house and I was providing it she left basically saying sorry she had come in like this but if there is any concern they have to check it out. Lesson learned, do not say anything to these people beyond what is absolutely needed for my kids, or to anyone for that matter. I have not had anymore visits from them since, but there are enough people working in our family with easy access to them. They will be lurking in the midst for a while, if not until these kids turn 18. I’m sorry if it looks like I am criticizing you all the time, but I am going off my own experience dealing with these people. Thank God we both had excellent, professional caseworkers that really see things as they are and want to help our families.
Awesome! Someone at CPS with a brain AND a heart – something rare to find these days! Glad to hear she took personal interest in getting the decision to close the case reached quickly with minimal disturbance to the boys! Kudos to her!
Good news Rob!
Why are people so nosy? It’s no one’s business. We all know you’re doing the very best you can. Sending strength!
Thank Goodness! So happy to hear that CPS wont be bothering you any time soon!
No doubt whomever filed the report took the quote out of context, and CPS should have just read the full post.
They need to do that whenever they receive a post like that.
As of my personal opinion:
Seriously, they ask you if your frustrated at your child with Autism’s bad behavior?
I know what a pain I was a kid. I think you’d have to be psychotic NOT to be frustrated with the negative aspects of Autism. I’d be incredibly concerned with any parent of a child with Autism that wasn’t periodically frustrated with these things. I’d check if they were on drugs or something.
Thank you. 🙂
I hate when people who don’t know the situation think they’re involved. I had someone tell me I was an alcoholic because they see my posts of going to the pub/restaurant for karaoke a lot. I’m a single mom who has a medically fragile child and I have maybe two drinks a month…if that. She had only met me once but because she had her children apprehended because she was a drug user she was out to witch hunt everyone. I hope you and your family don’t have to go through this again and that people learn to not read more into words than are actually there.
Thank God!