Confessions of an #Autism blogger: I’ve lost my way

The reason I began blogging three years ago was really simple.  I needed an outlet and my wife had been encouraging me to write in a journal.  As a tech head, I decided to do this digitally and Lizze helped me get started with a very simple blog.

I was dealing with lot at the time and I needed a safe place that I could vent and walk away. 

As much as I hated writing back then, it really did seem to help. I wasn’t a polished writer back then, nor am I today.  I just wrote what I was feeling and never expected anyone to ever read it. 

I don’t even remember how but people began finding my site and leaving comments. I do remember thinking how amazing it was to read that there were people out there that could actually relate to what I was experiencing.  Believe it or not, up to that point, I honestly thought I was alone. 

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Over the next few years, things kinda blew up and Lost and Tired became pretty popular. 

I’ve reached a point where there is so much demand for my time, both personally, with my family and professionally (and I use that term quite loosely) with this site.  I’m spread really, really thin and I feel like I’ve hit a roadblock. Writing doesn’t flow the way it used to. It’s difficult and feels forced. 

This has been driving me crazy but I think that I’ve been trying to be too many things for too many different people.  In a way, I’ve lost sight of why I began doing this in the first place. 

My mission has always been to reach other families and let them know that they aren’t alone.  I wanted them to know that they weren’t the only ones feeling the way that they do and it’s okay.  I know what it feels like to be alone, isolated, frustrated, overwhelmed, scared and exhausted. I know how scary Autism can be.

I want something positive to come out of my family’s struggle.  I think that I’ve lost my way and I need to find it again, in order to get back to what’s most important…..

What I’m going to be doing is trying to focus on what got me started in the first place.  I’m going to be sharing more of my personal feelings and experiences. 

Sometimes when you lose your way, you have to retrace your steps in order to find it again.  Right now, that’s my plan.

This site is managed almost exclusively from my Samsung Galaxy Note 3. Please forgive any typos as auto-correct HATES me. 😉



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Lost and Tired

Shalina J Black thank you. That means a lot 🙂

Shalina J Black

Rob, I enjoy reading your blog. It reminds me that I’m not alone. So…you do what you gotta do. But I’m a loyal fan. 🙂

Raynette Jones

you know i am not dealing with autism but with a chronically ill child that the drs cant fix. your blog is doing what you intended because it reached the autism people like you wanted, but Rob it has gone further than that. When I first found your blog, i was so tired and overwhelmed and the fact of the matter is I couldn't deal with the cancer/bone marrow transplant blogs or any of that because of the PTSD from my kids whole experience. once I started writing here (I let you know I have never written on the internet) and found somewhere that people feel like I do but differerent enough that I could cope and be empathetic. this probably doesnt make sense but it is helping me so you are doing what you started out to do….reaching people that feel alone tired and overwhelmed. thank you

upliftingfam

I think you do an awesome job blogging even though you might not feel it is what you want.  You share real life experiences that you and your family go through.  While I don’t always share the posts, I do take time to read them.  I have two special needs kids but don’t go through anything that you do.  I couldn’t imagine life in your shoes.  I too suffer from chronic pain and find Lizzie’s updates helpful because its tough being a parent when your in so much pain on a daily basis.

OnyxPanthyr

Well I found out about your site when I got my Epic 4G and started learning about custom ROMs.  I chose your midNIGHT ROM and lo and behold, became a reader.
I love reading about what’s going on in your family’s day to day life because I have no experience with autism.  It’s made me not jump to conclusions so  much because you never know what another family is dealing with.  You hear about things like a family has no heat or is feeding their kids junk food constantly or whatever and then you judge that they are shit parents.  Few people want to explore the reasons behind WHY.  You provide that why, Rob, and you educate the rest of us that have no idea what’s going on outside of the lives we live.
Let me give an example that I may have already posted here at one point.  I was a vendor at a craft fair and I was cleaning up my area after a show and I was one of the last vendors left to do so.  Up shows this dad and his kids to come help mom load up.  The older son of theirs was so all over the place, rude, disrespectful, and annoying as all hell to everyone around him.  He really seemed like a selfish brat.  And that’s what others thought; I heard the side comments.  I would have agreed with them too had I not had a different perspective on it.  I took a closer look, started looking at the nuances, and I could see that something wasn’t quite right with the boy.  He reminded me of Gavin in a sense.  I turned to my mom and I said to her, I don’t think he’s a spoiled brat, I think he might be autistic or something.  She gave me a look and said that I might be right, now that started to look at it from that point of view.  
Here was everyone judging that these parents were bad parents, but I just think that they, like you, were doing the best they could.  If it wasn’t for your blog, I wouldn’t have had the education to see that.  That’s what your writings do here.  They educate.  And I thank you for that and helping me grow.  🙂

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