This is something that I’ve never talked about before. It’s something that is very personal but important to put out there nonetheless.
While this is directed more at my wife than my children, it will one day be applicable to them and I want my feelings on the record.
Lizze feels like she is a burden to me and by extension, the boys. I wanted to put this in writing because I hope it will convey my feelings better than my words could.
You are not a burden
Being a special needs parent is never easy, at least in my experience. It may be easy to get frustrated. It’s may be easy to become overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation as well. It may be easy to feel like I can’t go another step because I’m so completely exhausted, in every possible sense of the word. It may even be easy for me to lose my patience at times. These things are all true.
However, it’s important that you understand and mean truly understand what I’m about to tell you.
It’s also easy to love you.
Despite how complicated and difficult life can be as a result of your personal challenges, be it health related or anything else for that matter, you are not a burden to me.
I know how guilty you feel about everything that you have going on with your health or emotional wellbeing and the impact that it has on me personally, and the rest of our family. While it’s true that your situation presents certain challenges, burden is never a word that has entered my mind.
We’re family. We’re best friends and partners in life. I don’t always handle things with grace and I’m under a tremendous amount of pressure but that’s a reflection on me for being human. None of this is your fault and I know that if you could change things you would.
Please don’t think you are a burden.
The same goes for our amazing beautiful but always challenging kids with Autism. None of you have ever, ever been a burden. As far as I’m concerned, it’s an honor and privilege to be your father.
All of you have had such a tremendously positive impact on my life. The least I can do is to be by your side through the tough and challenging parts of life. I know that the challenge seems like a constant and it really is. However, so am I.
No one should ever have to feel like a burden. When you love someone, you love them in their entirety. You graciously take on the bad and you welcome all the good.
Nothing worth having ever comes easy and it really shouldn’t.
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