Confessions of an exhausted #Autism Dad: I sleep during the day while the boys are at school

I’m always hard on myself because I never seem to get enough done around the house. I think I’ve figured out why that is.  Lizze and I don’t sleep well at night. She’s in pain and in menopause, so that makes sleep elusive for her on many nights.

If she doesn’t sleep well, I don’t either.

We also have at least 2 of the boys up at different times thoroughout the night. There is almost never a time where we can sleep straight the through the night.

When the boys are home, I’m personally on high alert all the time and it’s draining. I have to supervise Gavin constantly because he’s not allowed to be alone with his brothers. This is per Gavin’s psychologist and psychiatrist. There are very real safety concerns if he were to be left alone with the boys.

Let me tell you, that’s exhausting. Our house is to small as it is and so there really isn’t anywhere for anyone to be but on top of each other.
Because of Lizze’s medical needs, I try to let her sleep all day while the boys are at school.  When they’re home, I do my best to let her sleep during the day for at least 2 hours at a time. She usually gets in at least a few naps.
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Lately, when the boys are at school, I’ve been falling asleep and only walking up with enough time to get the boys from school…

Once the boys are home, the process starts all over again. 

I really set out with the best of intentions and I have goals for the day. Things like writing, dishes, laundry, vacuuming and exercise are on that list of goals.

Those things are largely still on that list, waiting to be crossed off.

As disappointed in myself as I am, I’m beginning to realize that I should probably take the sleep when I can get it. At this point, I’m the  captain of this ship and Lizze’s health prevents her from taking the wheel most of the time. If I go down, there’s no one left to take over.
It’s not a perfect scenario by any stretch of the imagination.  However, it’s the reality I live in at this point in time. I can’t change it, so I’ve gotta survive it.

Not only do I have to survive it, but I have 4 others counting on me to ensure they survive things too….

This site is managed almost exclusively from my Samsung Galaxy Note 3. Please forgive any typos as auto-correct HATES me. 😉



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rjones22

i am sorry you feel guilty. Your body needs the sleep. I am glad you know that. I know the guilt but if it makes you feel better, I feel better that you sleep when you can.

Lori Fredericksen

If it helps to make you a better father while you are with your child, even God Bless you! Each family has to do what works for them.

Lost and Tired

mdjake @Peggy Sampson @Tami Herb Simon @Becky Rogers Wiren @Michelle Spradley @Michelle Spradley @Meri Beller Kelly @Brett Stevens @Mark N Kathleen Visscher @Kariman Shama @Lena Finley Thanks everyone.  I know that so many of you can relate.

Lost and Tired

mdjake not at all.  I do have depression  but I’m being treated.

Lost and Tired

mdjake that’s not true.  I work out of the house and have for a few years.  I don’t have a choice.  Thankfully, I have a new job starting soon that let’s me work out of the house. 
Anyone that does their best to support their family deserves respect.

mdjake

Rob and his wife don’t work.
Your daughter deserves major accolades for trying as hard as she does to support her family.

Brett Stevens

I still have two little at home during the day, but I’m counting down till try are all at school so I can sleep!!

Peggy Sampson

I would set an alarm so you have an hour or 2 to get things done and get some rest. Have the kids help with some of the housework, folding and putting away clean clothes, ect.

Kariman Shama

We need all the sleep/rest we can get to recharge..

Michelle Spradley

I think rest is exactly what you need. God Bless you!

Mark N Kathleen Visscher

Same for these parents… Problem is there have been so many meetings and doctor appointments lately that I’m beyond exhausted… And add to that time off of school and family gatherings… Well, you already described the results of that quite accurately….
Take care of you so you can take care of them!!!

Tami Herb Simon

my daughter would like to do that too but she works, what does she do then?

Meri Beller Kelly

I do also! I imagine many of us do!

Becky Rogers Wiren

If you are exhausted, sleep will help you to accomplish more in less time and function better.

Bek Mortelliti Caruso

Yup. I stay up all night because that is the only time it is quiet enough to think.

Lena Finley

There’s nothing wrong with that, sleep is important for functioning under stress and high demands

mdjake

Sounds like untreated depression

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