After reading this post, you’re gonna either going to agree or disagree and that’s okay. I would love to hear your constructive thoughts in the comments below. Perhaps you’re thinking about something I haven’t thought of. 🙂
I feel very strongly that Autism does not equal a free pass for my kids. When my kids do something wrong, it’s my belief that they should be held accountable for actions.
There are always things to consider or take into account but the bottom line is, that in life, we are all responsible for what we say and do. Having Autism doesn’t mean my kids have a free pass to get away with anything.
That being said, there are things that my kids have no control over and I would never punish them for that. I’m talking about the normal, everyday kids stuff. Believe it or not, but kids with Autism can also experience the same or similar behavioral problems as their typical peers.
My kids, while all on the Autism Spectrum, can pick on each other just like any other brothers do. They can cause trouble, sneak things that don’t belong to them and be difficult for the sake of being difficult, just like any other kid. When these behaviors occur, my kids are held responsible and here’s why.
As much as we would all like to think we can change the world to be accommodating and accepting of our kids with Autism, the truth is, that may never happen.
I want my kids to be able to survive in the world and follow the rules, just like everyone is supposed to.
If one of my kids were to get a speeding ticket at some point, they certainly aren’t going to get consideration for being Autistic. They will be held to the same standard as everyone else.
One of my biggest fears for Gavin is that he doesn’t respond appropriately to authority, at least by societies standards. He doesn’t follow the rules and has absolutely no sense of boundaries, personal or otherwise. While it’s true that Gavin is much more complicated than many others on the Autism Spectrum, because of his other mental health issues, the principles are the same.
The way I see it, if I don’t teach my kids that they are accountable for their own actions, I feel like I’d be setting them up to fail in the real world.
You wouldn’t punish a blind man for not being able to see but you would punish that same blind man for assaulting someone. Does that make sense?
By teaching my kids at a very early age that they are always accountable, not only for their choices but their words and actions as well, I feel like they’ll be better prepared for real life. My only goal is to help prepare my kids for the world and make sure that they understand how things work.
Again, things like stemming, meltdowns, sensory issues and other things that are not within their control, aren’t even close to being on my radar and I don’t believe they should be.
I just want my kids to be prepared for life when the time comes that my wife and I are no longer with them. I want to know that they will be able to a law abiding, productive and happy member of society.
To be honest, there is a part of me that feels more at peace knowing that I’m doing everything I can to make sure they will be okay after I’m gone.
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