I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed today. We had our first of two snow days today. Our second one is tomorrow and again due to the extreme weather.
The kids really need to get back to school because they need some time apart.
Lizze and I need a break so we can try to recover from the holidays and having all the boys home. I’m absolutely drained and have been running on fumes for the past few days. Lizze is going through a great deal right now and while I’m not in her shoes, it’s still exhausting and stressful for me as well.
There is so much that needs to be done and in most cases I’m on my own.
Now that we’ve lost our only vehicle, things are even more challenging. My parents have been gracious enough to let us use their as much as possible but I know it’s a huge inconvenience for them and we at least need to get the kids to school and back each day.
I’m working on a solution but it’s taking more time than I had anticipated. Plus, having the boys home all day, doesn’t make for an environment, conducive for work.
In a great many ways, I’m up a shit creek without a paddle.
I realize that Lizze’s new diagnosis doesn’t necessarily change anything. However, now that we know what we are dealing with, it does feel a bit more ominous. BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) is a very serious condition and it impacts every single aspect of her life.
She’s giving us everything she has and doing so only seems to worsen her situation.
I’ve got to be able to do all this stuff for my family on my own, while giving her what she needs to hopefully recover from this.
Looking towards the future is really scary for me right now, even more so than usual, because of all the unknowns that are hiding out there in the dark.
As I’m sure many of you can relate to, I spend most of my days, running around, just putting out fires. It’s really hard to make any progress on anything when there is so much that constantly needs my attention.
Something always comes up with Gavin and so I have to stop what I’m doing and address whatever that may be. It’s usually health related and often requires a hospital trip. By the time I get done with that something else comes up with someone else and I’m redirected again. It’s an endless cycle of insanity.
Whatever I was originally working on gets lost and indefinitely placed on hold.
You wouldn’t believe the backlog of things I have on hold right now. It’s unreal and it’s always there, hanging over my head and reminding me of how far behind I am.
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