On the subject of homework struggles…
While we previously had issues with Gavin avoiding his homework and trying to get people to do it for him, it’s becoming increasingly apparent that homework may simply be beyond his grasp anymore. That wasn’t always the case but as he continues to regress, Lizze, myself and Dr. Pattie are concerned that unless someone’s holding his hand, he doesn’t stand a chance in most cases of completing his homework.
Gavin is an expert manipulator and he has been successfully manipulating his way out some of his school work. There are times that it seems like he could do the work and yet there are times where even the simplest of assignments are out of his reach or beyond his capacity.
Anymore, I’m honestly thinking of modifying his IEP to eliminate homework.
It’s tough because Gavin is the kind of kid where nothing is ever obvious. His actions can and will be dictated by any number of factors. Sometimes one action can be caused by a number of factors.
Here’s an example of what we’ve experienced.
When we recently had the issues with Gavin manipulating his way out of his homework and some of his school work, I think we missed the forest for the trees.
On the surface, Gavin was very clearly manipulating his way out of having to do work however, as time goes on and we learn more about what’s going on beneath the surface, it seems that his motives may be very different than we first thought.
In my mind, I’ve always equated the ability to manipulate with intelligence. This put me at a significant disadvantage in this situation because it somewhat blinded me to the other possibilities.
What I think may be happening is that Gavin’s doing the only thing he can do. Manipulate. Most of the fine I don’t believe that he can actually comprehend his Math work, especially when they are story problems. Rather than struggle to do something he can’t do, he does the only thing he can. He manipulates his way through it.
Manipulation doesn’t necessarily require a high intelligence.
I think in many cases, it’s instinctual. Gavin needs to get through the work and because he can’t do it on his own, he does it the only way he can.
I’m not convinced that this is the case all the time but I’m beginning to see that this is something that is in fact occurring, more and more often.
To be honest, it’s heartbreaking and frustrating because we never know for sure what’s going on but we know enough to know that he can sometimes do the work, he just doesn’t want to. Other times, it’s like his brain just doesn’t process this stuff and rather than continue to get frustrated, he figures alternative ways of getting through it.
I don’t have statistics for the number of kids that experience regression or these kinds of developmental challenges. However, if I had to sum up what regression is like for us, I say this.
Regression is a bitch.
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