I feel like a total failure


I’m far from perfect on any given day.  Then there are those days where me and perfect aren’t even in the same universe.

I’m currently living through one of those times where I feel like I’m a total screw up.

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This particular case has to do with Elliott. 

Elliott doesn’t get homework.  He gets this big projects once a month and they count for his entire homework grade for that month.  This little gem is the brainchild of his teacher that just up and quit a couple months ago.

I’ve had mixed feelings about this from the start but Lizze has hated this idea from the beginning.

Basically what happens is the kids are given a research project type thing at the beginning of the month and they have until the end of the month to complete it and turn it in, as well as present it to the entire class. 
Keep in mind that these kids have Autism, ADHD or both and they’re only in second grade. 

Anyway, this last project was given almost two months ago and was due before Spring break, which was last week. 

Essentially, this paper has been floating around the house for almost 2 months now and with everything going on, we completely forgot about it.  I feel like an absolutely horrible and irresponsible parent. Now Elliott has no homework grade for the last two months.

While I personally believe that this is a really stupid idea to begin with, the fact of the matter is that we failed to even remember it was even there.  There are no reminders sent home and we’re pretty much living day to day. 

This project simply fell off my radar. 

I have to go into the school in the morning, fall on my sword and take responsibility for this and somehow find a way to fix this…

This may also present me with an opportunity to voice my concerns about having this type of homework setup.  I’ll be honest, I don’t think any of Elliott’s teachers have any special needs kids themselves and so their expectations are a bit unrealistic.

Either way, this is my fault and I have to find a way to avoid this in the future. 

I’ve let Elliott down and now he’s likely to freak out because he now knows he didn’t get this done. 

I don’t know how the other parents feel about this so I have no idea how the other kids are handling these projects.  That said, it’s probably a safe bet that at least some of them are struggling with this as well. 

Maybe it’s just me.  Maybe everyone else has their shit together and I’m the screw up. 

I’m not very happy with myself right now. 🙁

This site is managed almost exclusively from my Samsung Galaxy Note 3. Please forgive any typos as auto-correct HATES me. 😉

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soccerma3

Most teachers are awesome..they really are..just not this one;)

soccerma3

There is one…it takes time and just remember you are the parent. You are your kids advocate..not the school. I remember when my eldest was in 2nd grade..teacher was a ex college professor. Gave 2 hrs homework a night..sobbing , exhausted..then her hair started falling out. Went into school, nervous , got the stare down. As I went to deliver my speech this Mom came in with piles of papers. Looked at the teacher and went on and on how she has tried to talk to teacher and is done. Her daughter will not do more than 10 minutes homework a night. She had a problem with it have the principal call her. Then she threw all the homework in the shredder!! She was my hero…I muttered a ” same for me”.. and it was done. Ridiculous.

Lost and Tired

Samantha_Sowden @Sawyer White @Rebecca Bishop BeckyRogersWiren @Nikki Haddix BeckyRogersWiren Curriden soccerma3 julh @Melissa Zewe

Thank you all so much.  I’m in a place right now where your kind words of support literally brought tears to my eyes. I’m so overwhelmed anymore and I just don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel…..  Thank you for being so kind….

Avia Batya

::hugs::

Sawyer White

I am right there with you! I never know if I’m doing the right thing, or making things worse. school, schedules, bedtime, showers…ALL of it! I cross my fingers, know that I love him more than life itself, and have a good cry! :Hugs: my friend, you are NOT alone!

soccerma3

Do not worry about the other parents..plenty will feel.the same way but many will bite the bullet for fear of being judged. Tell then this is bullshit. Tell them this way of doing work is beyond unacceptable. Does your son have IEP? I bet you can find something in their that states this is the exact opposite of what is allowed..head to the school counseler, IEP director until your sons schedule is set in a way he can succeed. There is no way ..no way with 3 adhd kids a one month project would work. Be strong and be firm…and worry about your own kid. The others need to stand up too. Good luck. Don’t take no for an answer. Been there done that.

Rebecca Bishop Curriden

Most teachers are understanding. If not apply to a higher power.

Nikki Haddix

you are not a screw up nor a failure, this is unrealistic as far as home work goes for an NT child let alone a child with special needs. Here Rob you have got to cut yourself some slack, I mean you are tending to the kids, as well as your wife and then there is yourself on that totem pole. You are human and being human when we have an over amount of crap on our plates we do good to get through each day! I look forward to your posts because I see I am not the only one dealing with these kinds of issues!!!

Samantha_Sowden

Don’t be so hard on yourself Rob! This is definitely a school issue. As the others below are saying, this is too much responsibility for a non-special needs child, let alone a child with extra needs. Talk to the school and definitely express your feeling and thoughts. And please don’t feel bad. Things happen. Things fall through the cracks. You have a full plate! The school NEEDS to take more involvement here.

dobby1986

I don’t think you are a failure at all. One the school should send reminders home at least once a week typical kids or not and ESPECIALLY with the weather problems you guys have had lately who the hell could keep up with that stuff. I think this is totally a school problem and not a parent or child problem. This is not a high school student here, he is a second grader, what can they seriously expect from them. Don’t beat yourself up a second longer!

BeckyRogersWiren

Sounds ridiculous for students at this age to have this responsibility. Which means the teacher is expecting YOU to remember. You did your best and stuff fell through the cracks. I know you are trying really hard. I can tell you care so much. Maybe the teacher and administrators can find a way to meet you half way and help, because this homework research doesn’t seem helpful at all. Rooting for you Rob! Bless you.

Melissa Zewe

you are not a screw up, it happens, special needs or not. been there doen that so many times. We do the best we can do each and every day, that’s all we can

julh

Don’t be so hard on yourself Rob. That kind of project for kids that age (with or without additional needs) is completely stupid and unrealistic.

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