This was far and away the worst morning we’ve had all year. Lizze apparently couldn’t sleep last night and was already awake, so she got up with the boys and let me stay in bed.
The next thing I know, Elliott’s waking me up in a panic because “Mommy needs your help.”
Apparently, Gavin let it slip this morning that he never did his homework that was due today in art class because he had decided that he would rather read his book instead of do his school work.
When Lizze questioned him on what he was talking about, he began to backpedal and change his story.
I won’t get into the details of this particular assignment but basically, he had to simply draw in his sketchbook. That’s all he had to do.
Instead of doing what he was supposed to, he was going to try and pass off something he had drawn previously and lie to his teacher about why it wasn’t in his sketchbook.
When I arrived on the scene, Lizze explained to me what had happened and what he was trying to do. I wasn’t very happy. I especially was happy about being woken up and forced to deal with more Gavin related bullshit before my eyes were even able to focus.
I want to make something very clear before I proceed with what happened.
I don’t give a flying fuck that he didn’t do his homework. We’ve given up on our involvement in his homework assignments because it was a pointless struggle and we had to let it go.
What pisses me off is the fact that he lied to us. The reason he’s in trouble, is because he lied to us.
I honestly couldn’t care any less than what I do about him not completing his assignment. The only person he’s hurting is himself and he has to live with whatever happens at school as a result of his choices. However, it pisses me off that he was going to lie to his teacher.
While we don’t check his homework for accuracy, we do often inquire as to whether or not he has any. The reason being is that we are trying to simply keep tabs on his education and we sometimes compare what he tells us to what his teachers tell us. It gives us a better feel for what going on.
Anyway, he got this particular assignment last week and every time we asked if he had any homework, he lied to us and told us he didn’t.
We were even trying to once again use positive reinforcement with him by allowing him to earn his tablet back for the weekends by complete in his schoolwork and making good choices during the week. We aren’t looking for perfection but instead looking for him to be honest with us and make reasonable choices thoughout the week.
I got tired of hearing him speak this morning because nothing he was telling us was believable.
I informed him that we would be pulling his tablet for the weekend and he would not be getting it back. What you are about to see in the following video, is his unedited response to not getting his way.
It’s important to understand why I’m so upset over this whole thing. The context surrounding this is very complex.
Basically, every single time he lies to us, I realize that I can’t trust anything he says. When he comes to me and tells me that he’s collapsing on the floor at school because his legs stop working, I instantly panic. I worry about his health a day safety constantly.
When we discover that he’s been lying to us about collapsing at school, I feel utterly betrayed.
Gavin’s health is in fact, very fragile and what’s he telling us is absolutely possible. It’s also very, very, very serious.
In fact, it’s so serious that we’ve been advised by his specialists at the Cleveland Clinic, that they are out of options and we need to seek additional help at the Mayo Clinic.
We have to take this seriously because his life could literally be in danger. However, we know that everything he’s been telling us is most likely a lie. Out of the 4 or 5 times he’s claimed to have collapsed while at school, we know for sure he lied about 2 of them. The other times we’re never witnessed by anyone, so we only have his word to go on.
Quite frankly, his word is worthless.
At the same time though, I can’t bring myself to write this completely off because if we don’t take this seriously and even part of what he’s telling us is true, it could cost him his life.
That being said, addressing these new symptoms will be a massive undertaking and one that will require tremendous sacrifice. We basically have to get him to one of three Mayo Clinic locations, Arizona, Minnesota or Florida. We live in Ohio and these would be major trips.
Gavin can’t fly due to his health and driving is almost as dangerous.
This would be a massive undertaking and one that we quite honestly can’t afford. However, because we will go to the ends of the Earth and back for our kids, we would find a way to make it happen.
That being said, this is all based on lies and manipulation. How do I justify what we would have to put my already fragile and struggling family through to do this for Gavin, when it’s total bullshit? How do I reconcile the fact that my son is a compulsive liar and can’t be trusted? How do I live with myself if I don’t take him seriously a d something happens?
Every time something like this morning happens, it only reinforces that fact that I can’t trust what he tells us.
There’s a war raging inside of me that’s literally tearing me apart. I want to believe Gavin but I know I can’t. At the same time, I can’t not worry about his health and the potential for things to go very, very badly if we don’t take him seriously…
There’s absolutely no way to win.
Anyway, this is the tantrum that ensued after he was caught lying to us again this morning and his assignment. Again, the homework itself isn’t the issue, it’s the lying that is.
This is unedited and very loud. This is all drama and manipulation. This is not an Autism related meltdown, so please don’t waste your energy trying to tell me how he just needs a hug. If this was a true meltdown, he wouldn’t be able to start and stop like he does. This is a tantrum, pure and simple.
I’m basically allowing you to experience my morning and witness how I dealt with this situation. I’m far from perfect and I’m sure I could have handled this better but I’m simply out of patience with Gavin. I’m sick and tired of all the lies and manipulation…
Elliott and Emmett were both terrified and hiding upstairs. Emmett was sobbing and everyone was late for school…
Lizze did call the school and explain what was happening so Gavin was unable to lie to his teachers. His principal heard Gavin over the phone and is going to make sure that this the homework issue is addressed at school today.
Gavin, I’m sorry son but you aren’t getting it of this one. You have to learn and being held accountable is the only way that’s ever going to
happen. This is all because we love you….
Reaction to getting caught lying (RAD Related):
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