Being an #Autism parent – Sometimes I feel like a defeated failure – Can anyone relate?

I’m finding myself frustrated with life today. I spent $200 at the grocery store yesterday and the boys are struggling to find anything that they’ll eat. I went out of my way to ensure that I bought things the boys are known to be okay with.

$200 is a lot of money for us and I do that several times a month.

I know the boys aren’t trying to be difficult because I know they’re hungry and frustrated as well. This gets really frustrating for me as a parent and truthfully, I even best myself up over this because as their father, I need to provide for them. At the same time, how am I supposed to hit the target when it’s constantly moving and is often invisible?

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Sensory Processing disorder is unbelievably impactful and can lead one to feel like there’s no way to work through it. Truthfully, while occupational and speech therapies can help, it doesn’t always work for everyone. Even when it does, it’s not necessarily going to be a night and day difference.

All of my kids have spent years in both therapies. While progress has been made, clothing and feeding are still absolute nightmares on most days.

Clothes are itchy, too loose or too tight. Food tastes funny, looks funny, smells funny or even feels funny in their mouths.

I love me kids and have an unbelievable amount of amount of patience when it comes to them. Having said that, there are days like today when I feel like failure. A totally defeated failure.

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It doesn’t matter that I know I’m literally doing everything I can. It doesn’t matter that my kids doctors and therapists know the same thing. None of them blame me for anything but I blame myself enough for everyone.

Can anyone else relate?