Reality: Gavin

Gavin's day started out a bit rough. I had to talk to him about the way he has been talking to and treating his mother. He denies ever saying anything like that. So of course Lizze must be lying to me (according to him). Nothing she ever does seems to be good enough for him. I wish he was typical even if just for a few minutes. I want him to know all the things she put herself through for him. But I know that just couldn't process it so it's pointless. He is absolutely rapid cycling now which isn't a good sign of things to come. Typically this is where we would see a psychotic break beginning to take place. Still waiting to hear from the doc about med…

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A Gavin Update

Gavin had a good day at school but really struggled at home. He is starting to treat Lizze quite poorly. That will have to stop as I won't stand for that, period. He is starting to get creepy again. He is all over the place and talks about things that don't make a whole lot of sense. Clearly the bipolar meds aren't working and he is rapid cycling again. He does that when the meds are off. I'm not happy about the med changes coming but I fear it's a necessary evil. On a side note Lizze reviewed the "Shark Steam Pocket" for the Cleveland Examiner. If you haven't already done so you should check it out. Also subscribe to her page and get email updates when new articles post.…

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The aftermath

Well today has come and gone. I'm sitting in my clean house playing borderlands on the computer I built. Everyone is sleeping, just me and Maggie (my staffy) hanging out on the couch. The help me grow people were very nice. Emmett John will probably be referred to the autism clinic. He did very well and they enjoyed their time with him. She comes back on Monday for more paperwork cause she didn't want to overwhelm us. I don't think my family really takes this seriously or are simply in denial because I haven't heard from anyone today. Not one person called to see how it went. These kinds of things contribute to the feeling of isolation. Only another "autistic" parent would understand what today was like for us. With…

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A parent of autism

I've been a parent to an autistic child for about 9 years. I've been through it all before so I should know what to expect but I don't. For some reason it feels like the first time again. All the uncertainty, fear and feelings of guilt have all come back. I wonder what I did wrong. I ask myself what I should have done differently. I have also begun bargaining with God. Later the anger with God will kick in for what is happening to Emmett John. The fear of whether or not it is regressive like Gavin's is smacking me in the face. LT

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Mentally preparing for today.

In 2 hours Emmett John will begin his evaluation for autism. Up to this point it has all been speculation so we really didn't have anything to deal with emotionally. After today however, things will be made much more real. As much as I try I just don't see us coming out the other side of the tunnel without a diagnosis somewhere on the spectrum. The more we watch Emmett John the more it appears to be spectrum related. He smells everything, food and non-food items. The fits and the inability to talk are big ones also. As a father I just want him to be ok. As father that has been through hell and back over the past 10 years with Gavin, I want to put a name to…

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More health issues

Lizze just got back from the doctor. They want to do a sleep study now because they think she is narcoleptic. This is because she falls asleep right in the middle of doing something. I just assumed she was tired but apparently the meds she is on shouldn't be causing the sleeping stuff. So for now we are waiting for her MRI at the end of the month and the phone call to tell us when the sleep study is. on the plus side she seems to be writing a lot. Writing really helps her to escape all of this for a little bit. LT

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Autism Awareness Month

As you are all aware this is Autism Awareness Month. I would like to know why I don't see or hear anything about it in my area. I live in northeast ohio and there has been nothing. Maybe it's just because it has struck my family that I am more aware but I would have thought I would have seen ribbons or signs or even hear something on the news or radio. Admittedly, I can't be everywhere and hear everything but it's been to quite. I hear dozens and dozens of times a day how someone found some stupid lost animal in Farmville or someone found a lost egg. Where are our priorities. It actually makes me angry that this month seems to be slipping by unnoticed. I wish there…

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