Gavin update

Talked to Dr. R's office and we should know by the end if the week about the movement disorder clinic. It seems like an eternity helplessly waiting for information.

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The great school… (an honesty post)

...debate has begun. Lizze and I are in over our heads and I think that should be obvious to most people. When we decided to send Elliott to a private school we did so because we wanted to give him the best education we could and were promised help along the way. We are very happy at his preschool but many things have changed since I attended school there. Everything seems to be about money and forced "volunteer" work. I understand the idea behind it but we cannot accommodate the requirements. We cannot do 20,30,40,50 or 60 hours of community service to the church/school. Something always comes up when you have 3 Autistic children. Giving us the option to buy our way out of the hours reminds me of buying…

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Lizze…

...I know that we are starting to feel the pressure and weight of the life we have chosen. I know we are both short on patiences and it's understandable. Very few people understand the stress and pressure we are constantly under. No one knows better then you and I the lengths we go for the family we have created together. Things are never going to be easy but they will be rewarding. We might not get a break from this journey or time to ourselves but together we will pull everyone through. I know you have been through alot in your short 30 years. You always compare your weaknesses to others strengths and that is a battle no one can win. You are the most amazing mother, even when tired…

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We are losing…

...our ability to tread water. Gavin is more and more frustrating each day. Elliott is an emotional roller coaster. Emmett is becoming more and more destructive and his ability to communicate is not improving. I feel like everything is becoming heavier and heavier. There is no relief in sight and no light at the end of the tunnel. We have a lot of major decisions coming up and I just don't even know where to begin. There are to many priorities and we just can't address them all. Things are slipping through the cracks.

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Schizophrenia is…..

....back on the table as a possible diagnosis. Gavin seems to be showing signs of paranoid delusions.  The other night he was sitting at the table and told me someone was watching him. He said that he saw 2 glowing eyes in the dark side of the toy box. He said he wasn't scared and was going to stay calm because he didn't want to scare what was watching him. Gavin is also convinced that the school is giving him spoiled milk on purpose. He says that the expiration date is only a week out. He says they are spoiled when they are not. He is also convinced they are doing this to him on purpose. I don't know what to do with that. He just seems to be sliping deeper and…

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