The silence is deafening

A few posts back I was discussing the differences between Aspergers and Autism. I was sharing how profoundly different it it to raise a child with Autism as apposed to Aspergers. My experience today is a PERFECT example of what I mean. Emmett has been running a fever the past few days. Since yesterday, he has been acting like he’s in pain. The problem is that he can’t tell us if he is. Lizze and I thought maybe he had a toothache or maybe his throat hurt but we weren’t sure. When your child can’t communicate it’s a truly helpless feeling. When you think your child is in pain but they just can’t tell you, it’s heartbreaking. In Emmett’s case, it turned out to be a sore throat.

One of the major challenges we face with Emmett is his inability to communicate. He literally can’t tell us what he’s going through, as currently, he lacks the speech and language skills to do so. This has been and will continue to be something I struggle with because I want so desperately to be able to communicate with my son.. Sure, we have made progress but on days like today, when he’s in pain but can’t tell us, I realize just how far we still have to go. I tried ALL day to figure out what was wrong but my efforts were in vain. It’s such a helpless feeling to know your child is in pain but can’t tell you where. One of the things I hate most about Autism is the silence. That silence is deafening. I really wish there was a way to convey this to those that aren’t facing the same struggles.


Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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I’ve tried all sorts of coughing syrups, believe me, but none of them helps. Even though Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa… does not eliminates the cough I like to stick to this chinese syrup I’ve been taking since I was a kid: Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa. My grandfather is chinese, so I guess my mom got the advice from him. I was really surprised when I found that chinese market selling it here in Belgium. It does have a refreshing, soothing, sweetening effect…as long as it lasts…then back to coughing mode.


I know what you mean. I hope Emmett is feeling better soon.


Thanks Kellie


It's hard when a child "parrots" too – I'll ask my Grandson (example) Does your leg hurt ? & he answers ,Does your leg hurt? I ask does your head hurt? answer: Does your head hurt? I JUST WANT YES or NO !!! So frustrating and sometimes frightening…..not to be able to pinpoint where the pain is . Sometimes if I say "Show me" , that works & he'll point to what hurts, but not always.And of course if you don't know him well you may not be able to understand what he says even when he 'parrots'.



You are SO right. All you need in order to help them is the one thing you can't have….answers. I'm right there with you. It's a really helpless feeling….


the only thing worse then silence is the noises of attempts to communicate that are intelligble. I had a similar situation with my nearly 3 year old 2 days ago after putting him back to bed nearly 20 times he threw up and we finally realised he had a tummy bug. my hubby's main goal with getting a diagnosis is to communicate with our son.



You are ABSOLUTELY right. He tries SO hard to tell us but when he gets upsets he loses most of his words. And honestly, even with ALL his words he can't piece together what he would need to in order to tell us what's wrong. Heartbreaking….. 🙁