We have found ourselves once again dealing with inappropriate touching. It’s been a little while since this has been an issue but today it has returned.
Long story short, Elliott came downstairs and told me that when he was trying to come downstairs, Gavin grabbed him and wouldn’t let him go down the steps.
Elliott then explained that Gavin kissed him twice, without asking Elliott’s permission.
According to Elliott, Gavin kissed him on the side of the head, both sides actually.
While that may not seem like a big deal, it really is. Gavin either has no concept or no respect for other people’s boundaries.
Sometimes it seems like a simple boundary issue and other times his behavior is clearly predatory in nature. I don’t know what today falls into but I do know that Gavin knowingly broken the rules.
We sat him down with Dr. Pattie and discussed how this type of thing is inappropriate. We explained that once you get to a certain age -and we used Gavin’s current age at the time- its no longer OK to make physical contact without permission.
We went further and explained what physical contact meant. He should not be putting his hands on anyone without that person having given permission. We told him that he should hug or kiss anyone without the other person saying it was OK.
He is also not supposed to hug or kiss his brothers without Mommy or I present and watching.
This has to be this way in order to protect our other kids. Gavin has a history or being sexually aggressive. In the past week have caught him sneaking into Elliott’s room at night to give Elliott a proper kiss goodnight. It’s really creepy and I’m not the only one to say that.
So after Elliott told us what happened, I called Gavin down and asked him what had happened. His story was a bit different than Elliott’s but it basically ended the same way, Elliott was touched in an inappropriate way.
We have a zero tolerance policy for this type of behavior.
Gavin was immediately grounded. By grounded, he was done watching TV for the day and he would be having oatmeal for dinner instead of roast.
He completely lost it. A horrendous meltdown soon followed.
After making sure Lizze and the other boys were OK -because Elliott and Emmett scurried over and buried themselves behind Mommy on the couch- I went upstairs to keep Gavin under control.
I’ll be very honest with you. When this happens, it’s very difficult to keep my cool because no one and I mean no one will ever hurt any of my babies.
I did the best I could to remain calm and keep control over the situation but I probably could have done a better job.
The video below shows part of the meltdown. I didn’t get to him right away so I missed something of it.
The really frustrating part is that he has no remorse. He’s upset because he wanted roast for dinner not because he did something wrong.
How do you teach a child right from wrong when they just don’t get it?
[youtube width=”720″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbVSOkkn118[/youtube]