Angry

We had our little meeting with the school this afternoon.  Rather, Lizze met with the school. Gavin was questioned about the bullying thing I was talking about yesterday and today.

He was asked what happened and he lied through his teeth. 

His story was bought, hook, line and sinker. 

He admitted to lying to the teacher when asked because he didn’t want to get into trouble.

What am I going to do?

Simple.  I taking him to school in the morning and we are going to have another little meeting, at which point Gavin is going to tell the truth. 

Not only that, he will accept any and all consequences both the act of bullying and lying to his teachers about it after. 

I’m so angry with him right now, I can literally feel the vein in my forehead throbbing.

I love the school but this was a newer staff member and Gavin completely played her.  Not only that, but he succeeded in making Lizze look bad and feel like an idiot. 

Big Daddy is going to straighten this little situation out tomorrow. 

Part of me is so angry because we raised Gavin better than that. No matter what,  we always told Gavin that telling the truth was the most important thing.  Even when we were fighting to protect him from biological father and paternal Grandmother, both abusive, we told him to tell the truth.  Even if he was afraid of getting someone in trouble, he needs to tell the truth.

Now, I can’t trust a goddamn thing that comes out of his mouth.

I think that I’m actually more hurt than angry.  I feel like everything we did for him, all the sacrifices all the things we endured, was for nothing.

We thought we’d won. We thought we succeeded in protecting Gavin.  I never saw this coming.  I’m such an idiot.  I thought that things were finally going to be okay.

I have never been more wrong.

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hudginsvicky

I've been where you are, and I'm still where you are, with a mentally ill daughter, now in her mid-thirties. I'm pretty sure I could have filled the Grand Canyon with all the tears I've shed over her. You would be surprised at how many similarities there are in our situations.
 
Try to remember that nothing you do for your child is ever wasted. Even though Gavin can't feel love or empathy for others, it just may be that deep, deep down he will be able someday, to feel your love for him. And even if he can't ever feel that love, this is what we are called to do as parents. Besides, what chance would Gavin have without you on his side? Being a parent sometimes means protecting our children from themselves.
 
Please try to remember, too, that there is great value in Gavin's life, and the story of your family's struggle to overcome these seemingly insurmountable trials. Each time you share your experiences, and especially those with Gavin, you inspire and lift up countless families who are also trying to find their way.
 
I think of your family and pray for each of you every day.

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